This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Christi Esterle: We're up now. Oh, we are live. We got it, folks.

[0:04] Emily Clark: We got it. Hello, everybody.

[0:06] Christi Esterle: Hello, everyone. Hello!

[0:08] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: There's no going back now. We've all shown up for the battle.

[0:14] Christi Esterle: We've committed. Oh, there we are. Okay. I've got like a delay.

[0:18] Emily Clark: Oh.

[0:20] Christi Esterle: I've got dogs jumping up on the bed.

[0:23] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Well, thank God, because the cat is not a dog.

[0:27] Christi Esterle: Casper, do you want to be a dog?

[0:29] Christi Esterle: Hold on. Let's see if I can get him over here. Casper, come here. Come here.

[0:33] Christi Esterle: Alright. Let me just... Oh, my other dog is coming.

[0:35] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Jellicle cats come out tonight.

[0:37] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Jellicle cats come one, come all.

[0:39] Christi Esterle: Hello, Carrie Ahern.

[0:41] Christi Esterle: Hello. Don't knock over anything.

[0:43] Christi Esterle: Hayden Wilder and NerdyGamer2001.

[0:46] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: That is not the list I expected.

[0:48] Christi Esterle: Oh, Christi, you're getting some love already.

[0:51] Christi Esterle: Let me...

[0:53] Christi Esterle: Hello, hello, hello. I love you, too.

[0:55] Christi Esterle: Here's my husband. Here's Jeff.

[0:57] Emily Clark: Hi, Jeff.

[0:59] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Hi, Jeff.

[1:01] Christi Esterle: What's up?

[1:03] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: It's Buzz Lightyear himself. He's here.

[1:05] Christi Esterle: Are you seriously going to do this?

[1:07] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We are seriously doing this.

[1:09] Christi Esterle: I don't know why. But here we go.

[1:11] Christi Esterle: Dude, I'm so proud of you guys.

[1:17] Christi Esterle: I'm very proud. You are so brave.

[1:21] Christi Esterle: Okay. I'm going to give us a few more minutes to let people hop in and get in.

[1:25] Christi Esterle: And for me to say that we're going live.

[1:33] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: That's not a cat.

[1:35] Christi Esterle: Nope, that's not a cat.

[1:37] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: A cat is not...

[1:39] Christi Esterle: A dog. We know this.

[1:43] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: All dogs go to heaven and all cats go to...

[1:47] Christi Esterle: The Heaviside Lair.

[1:49] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: But most cats in Cats are not cats.

[1:53] Christi Esterle: What are they?

[1:55] Emily Clark: I don't know, but if you put their pictures in IsThisACat.com, they'll tell you they are not cats.

[1:59] Christi Esterle: Well, I mean, that makes sense. It's like, you know, Ian McKellen and Taylor Swift are cats and nobody else is a cat.

[2:07] Emily Clark: Oh, my God. You've seen this seven times?

[2:13] Christi Esterle: I've seen this... Oh, my goodness. My gosh, my gosh, people.

[2:19] Christi Esterle: Okay, it looks like we're doing all right with people hopping in and it looks like there's been no issues.

[2:25] Christi Esterle: So my question to my people currently here... Emily, can you still hear me?

[2:31] Emily Clark: Yeah, I can hear you.

[2:33] Christi Esterle: Perfect. Alright, we've all got our headphones on. We're all ready.

[2:37] Christi Esterle: Now, for us folks in the chat, do you have your ability to watch Cats all queued up?

[2:45] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: So what are we showing, Jess, to let the people know?

[2:47] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We're not showing the actual movie.

[2:51] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We kind of are. What we got is this very degenerative version of it.

[2:57] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: And you're going to see how we're going to push play. We're not going to have this on screen the entire time.

[3:03] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We don't want to be shut down by YouTube. So what we're going to do is whenever you guys have any trouble syncing up with us or you want to see where we're at or if we've got newbies coming in, we're going to show this up for a couple seconds and then go back to us.

[3:19] Christi Esterle: Does that all sound clear to everyone?

[3:21] Emily Clark: It's cool.

[3:23] Christi Esterle: Alright. What time do you think we should start or should we just get right into it? Should we just go to the fireworks factory, kids?

[3:31] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Let's do it. Let's rip off the bandaid. I think we're ready to go.

[3:37] Christi Esterle: Alright, folks. Andrew, I'm going to let you do the countdown for everyone to push play and all that.

[3:43] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: You got it. So I'm just going to countdown from five to go when I say go.

[3:47] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Five, four, three, two, one. Go.

[3:53] Christi Esterle: Here they are. Here's our dancing cats.

[3:55] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Universal Studios logo right here.

[3:59] Emily Clark: Yep.

[4:01] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: It's definitely Universal.

[4:03] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: It's definitely going.

[4:05] Christi Esterle: Oh my goodness. Someone's got it too loud.

[4:11] Emily Clark: I've got it on my headset.

[4:13] Emily Clark: I've got it on my headset, so...

[4:19] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Alright, kids. Universal does make all the best movies.

[4:25] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: I mean, they made the Grinch remake and the other Grinch remake. They're doing the Minion stuff, right?

[4:31] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[4:35] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: No, it is Universal. It's Illumination, but it's also Universal.

[4:39] Christi Esterle: Universal owns Illumination, which is why...

[4:43] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: They should have had Illumination for the cat movie.

[4:47] Christi Esterle: Ah, cat face. It winked at me. I don't like this. I am uncomfortable.

[4:55] Emily Clark: Okay. Was the Egyptian part of the original Broadway show?

[4:59] Christi Esterle: No, it wasn't. It was just like in a junkyard.

[5:03] Emily Clark: And I just love how, you know, it's the year of our lord, 2019, but here is Andrew Lloyd Webber...

[5:09] Christi Esterle: Oh, it sounds awful.

[5:11] Emily Clark: Yeah. I kind of like it. That's honestly the part I kind of like, is that he's dedicating to how it sounds.

[5:19] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Monsters crawling out. Freaking monsters.

[5:23] Christi Esterle: The twitchy bag just makes me uncomfortable.

[5:25] Emily Clark: Oh, Miss Nightmares is in the chat. Cool.

[5:27] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Hey, Miss Nightmare. We should bring you in sometime before this is over. Donate to COVID-19. We'll bring you on.

[5:35] Christi Esterle: I mean, what is in that thing? It's not a cat.

[5:39] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: It is a person-cat hybrid thing.

[5:41] Christi Esterle: It's a furry. This movie just does not know the proportions at all.

[5:47] Emily Clark: And I love how they have the hit of the music right when she just kind of slams against the...

[5:53] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Well, that's when the cat becomes, like, brain dead and then this is her fantasy as she dies.

[5:59] Christi Esterle: That would make sense. Why do they do this? Is that just your reaction to the movie itself?

[6:05] Emily Clark: Robbie Fairchild's head just floating there. When I first saw this scene, I was just in awe. My jaw was dropped and I was like, this is the movie. This is going to be the movie, isn't it?

[6:23] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: I remember I was maybe a little too drunk when I saw this, so I remember just being like...

[6:29] Christi Esterle: It's Jacob's Ladder for Cats. Yeah, it is Jacob's Ladder for Cats.

[6:31] Emily Clark: Oh, this is finally a Musicals with Cheese episode. We brought up Jacob's Ladder.

[6:35] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Everything is Jacob's Ladder, but for whatever we're talking about.

[6:39] Christi Esterle: All musicals can be Jacob's Ladder.

[6:43] Emily Clark: I feel so bad for her. This is her breakout role.

[6:47] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Little Miss Victoria. She's obviously a beautiful dancer and charismatic.

[6:55] Emily Clark: She's not a great singer.

[6:57] Christi Esterle: I think she's fine.

[6:59] Emily Clark: But this is her first movie! This! Everyone's going to think she's a cat. Forever!

[7:07] Christi Esterle: The thing is, I had gotten used to her being in the cat form that when I finally saw what she looked like, I was uncomfortable by how she looked.

[7:15] Emily Clark: Oh, yeah. Their faces just look wrong.

[7:19] Christi Esterle: Yeah. It's like the human noses and the human hands and toes.

[7:27] Emily Clark: And the tails.

[7:31] Christi Esterle: Yes. I don't know what cats they studied to make those tails, but those are not the way cat tails move.

[7:37] Emily Clark: They're like lemur tails.

[7:39] Christi Esterle: Yeah, exactly. They're like monkeys.

[7:43] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Well, I mean, humans are monkeys, and these are mostly humans.

[7:49] Christi Esterle: Mostly humans. Humans aren't monkeys. We don't have tails.

[7:55] Emily Clark: But still, you give them tails, so in the musical, they're talking directly to the audience as if we are...

[8:03] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah. Tom Hooper didn't know what catnip was. That's interesting.

[8:09] Emily Clark: Yeah, Taylor Swift's dad had to tell him that. You know, it would be funny to do a scene with catnip.

[8:15] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: What's catnip, eh? I've never heard of that. I don't even know what catnip is.

[8:21] Christi Esterle: I get really hung up looking at their scenes. And that was not a natural...

[8:25] Emily Clark: It's like you could practically sense the harness there.

[8:29] Christi Esterle: Oh, totally. And here we have Tom Hooper's wonderfully literal way of interpreting the lyrics. I mean, they're talking about a tire, so we gotta have a tire on board on the screen.

[8:41] Emily Clark: Just look at their feet the whole time. They hover above the floor. It's so weird.

[8:45] Christi Esterle: I hate it. I hate it so much.

[8:49] Emily Clark: Their feet look so weird. Why even have them really dance if everything looks fake?

[8:55] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: There's, like, no connection between floor and person here. Can I talk about the special effects?

[9:01] Christi Esterle: And now they're, like, mouse-sized. What the hell?

[9:03] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: You can, Jess. Go ahead. The filming of this film finished in March. They released that trailer in, what was it, June?

[9:11] Emily Clark: Something like that, yeah.

[9:13] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: And then they had to have the film done and animated and all that by December. Would this film have been better if they had released it right alongside In the Heights, given it another couple months?

[9:21] Christi Esterle: It'd still be cats, man.

[9:23] Emily Clark: Yeah. At least they wouldn't be talking as much about the effects.

[9:27] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: It'd still be cats. They should have made them animated cats. Like, they should have looked like normal cats and used the medium of animation to do all these fanciful things.

[9:39] Christi Esterle: This works on stage, because you buy this shit on stage.

[9:41] Emily Clark: Does it work on stage?

[9:43] Christi Esterle: I mean, it works better on stage than it does right here.

[9:47] Emily Clark: I don't buy it, but a lot of people, like, freaking love this.

[9:51] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I mean, this is one of the longest-running musicals of all time, so it did work in a certain sense.

[9:57] Emily Clark: It's so weird.

[10:03] Christi Esterle: But yeah, it's like, you know, when you've got a stage thing, I mean, it's like, yeah, okay, they're in leotards and they've got, like, these fluffy headdresses and makeup, but yeah, we can pretend they're cats for a couple hours. You buy it.

[10:17] Emily Clark: Yeah. And also, that's the other thing, is I feel like they should have made their heads fluffier, like they do in the stage show. It's so weird.

[10:25] Christi Esterle: Yeah, it's like- You can feel the motion capture thing on their heads.

[10:29] Emily Clark: But they did. Remember in that original trailer where Jennifer Hudson, like, had the big puffy gender face? She had way more! And then they took it away!

[10:37] Christi Esterle: You're totally right. Random- I'm sorry, that was just the random hip-hop dancers there.

[10:43] Emily Clark: Oh, yeah. I know.

[10:45] Christi Esterle: They have sneakers.

[10:49] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: I hate when the guy makes a heart with his hands. I hate it. I hate that so much.

[10:55] Christi Esterle: I don't know why I hate it. It just makes me want to punch him.

[11:01] Emily Clark: Can we talk about the character assassination of Mr. Mistoffelees in this movie?

[11:05] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I don't like this. I don't like Mr. Mistoffelees as, like, this little weenie.

[11:11] Emily Clark: He's a little weenie, yeah. Was he Tom Hooper's self-insert character?

[11:15] Christi Esterle: They make him, like, pathetic. It's so pathetic. His song is, like, ruined.

[11:23] Emily Clark: She's a beautiful dancer, and-

[11:25] Christi Esterle: Oh, bye. Never mind.

[11:27] Emily Clark: Yeah, but she's like- She, like, toe-danced. They, like, you know, edit her foot- They edit her feet over her toe shoes, and it's weird.

[11:33] Christi Esterle: It's so weird. I hate it. Where are they going?

[11:37] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Um, they saw McCavity showing up, because we gotta introduce our villain real early on.

[11:41] Christi Esterle: It's so weird how they try to make this into a story.

[11:45] Emily Clark: I mean, it's a movie. There has to be a story.

[11:47] Christi Esterle: Oh, there doesn't. Haven't you seen a lot of crazy- Fantasia doesn't have a story. Just do a Fantasia with cats.

[11:53] Emily Clark: Fantasia is, like, a bunch of different stories.

[11:57] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Even, um, the stage version. Trevor Nunn gave the show its shape. You know?

[12:05] Christi Esterle: Shut up, Facebook. Cats actor Idris Elba. Yes. Yummy, cats.

[12:15] Emily Clark: Cats is a very elaborate story, and it's incredibly hard to follow.

[12:19] Christi Esterle: Cat got your tongue!

[12:21] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Why are the building- Do they say that in the stage show? Do they say cat got your tongue?

[12:25] Christi Esterle: No, they don't. They don't talk in the stage show.

[12:27] Emily Clark: They don't interact with each other aside from nuzzles and stuff.

[12:31] Christi Esterle: Right. They introduce each other a lot, but they don't talk to each other.

[12:35] Emily Clark: They introduce each other all the time. That's the whole show.

[12:37] Christi Esterle: That's true. Yeah.

[12:43] Emily Clark: Here's what I am, and here's what I do, and it just washes over me, and I'm like, I don't even- What am I listening to?

[12:49] Christi Esterle: It's a whole bunch of disconnected I Am songs.

[12:51] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[12:55] Christi Esterle: Oh my gosh. So, is there one good thing that the movie does that improves upon the musical?

[13:01] Emily Clark: It's shorter.

[13:03] Christi Esterle: Both very good answers.

[13:07] Emily Clark: No.

[13:13] Christi Esterle: It's more uncomfortable to watch.

[13:15] Emily Clark: I mean, it's just bad in a different way.

[13:17] Christi Esterle: It's just a different kind of bad.

[13:19] Emily Clark: Is one more watchable than the other?

[13:21] Christi Esterle: I feel like this is intensely watchable, just because it's watching the room.

[13:25] Emily Clark: Yeah. I love the room. They're all just wonderful.

[13:33] Christi Esterle: Part in the graveyard just even just increases like the weird cultish aspect of the whole thing.

[13:39] Emily Clark: Oh yeah. And they're all just like, they're cats in heat, right? They're cats on the wall in heat in the middle of the night. That's what it feels like to me. Wolfgang in the chat, this is where we are in the movie. I'm sorry for the degeneration of it, but gives you an idea. It's roughly oh yeah, around 10 minutes and seven seconds in. Look at them go. I like how the sky is like aurora borealis from like the lights. Yeah. Everybody wants to bone in this.

[14:17] Christi Esterle: Oh yeah, they're dancing on the graves of our ancestors because they know they'll outlive us.

[14:22] Emily Clark: Yeah. I mean, what kind of graveyard is like paved? What kind of graveyard is right next to a milk bar? Also, look at the size of the cats compared to that gate. Could people fit through there? Yeah. Completely normal human hands with like French manicure. Come on.

[14:47] Christi Esterle: Yeah. But the thing is, this isn't a level where I feel like this is career ending. I think Tom Hooper is going to have a career. I think every one of the big actors are going to be still the big actors they are.

[15:04] Emily Clark: Well, I wonder about the two of them because they were hired for their dance ability, obviously. And, you know, MonkaStrap, he was a Broadway guy.

[15:10] Christi Esterle: Well, I'm sure he'll still be a Broadway guy. I'm sure Francesca, what's her face? Yeah. I'm sure she'll have, you know, ballet companies calling for her hanging down the door. But I think, you know, they will have careers.

[15:29] Emily Clark: Yeah. And the thing is, you guys say she's not the best singer. She's a passable singer. They do this weird dance and then Mr. Mistoffelees just shows up saying his name.

[15:39] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Mr. Mistoffelees. Why not?

[15:47] Emily Clark: It reminds me a lot of how in the original Les Mis, they just had someone scream Andras' name just because no one ever said his name in it. They needed somebody to say it.

[16:00] Christi Esterle: There's Jeff. Hey, Jeff. I feel like they pinned all the failure of this movie on the special effects artists.

[16:12] Emily Clark: So I think everybody will get away with it.

[16:18] Christi Esterle: Yeah, but the trailer got such a bad rep because of the special effects. So they were able to pin it on them.

[16:24] Emily Clark: Are you drinking Corona, Jess?

[16:28] Jesse McAnally: Yes. I'm sorry. Y'all missed that joke. I'm praying. Donate to Corona and send us your receipt and you guys get to chat with us after the movie. Just a reminder to the chat. And the email to send that to is musicaltheaterlivesatgmail.com.

[16:41] Christi Esterle: Jess, we got some people asking where we're at in the show.

[16:43] Jesse McAnally: Oh, thank you. Are you watching this too? I'm actively trying not to look at the chat. We're either 10 hours or 13 minutes in depending on your point of view. We are 13 minutes in exactly.

[16:55] Christi Esterle: Yeah. You just asked me if I was watching this.

[16:59] Jesse McAnally: Sorry, we don't want to get in trouble and get cancelled by Universal. But anyone that wants to know, we'll bring it up for you.

[17:13] Christi Esterle: So what is everyone's opinion on what a Jellicle Cat is? It's a cult.

[17:21] Emily Clark: Nothing. They literally are sacrificing. It's a corruption of the words dear little. That's the official origin of the word.

[17:32] Christi Esterle: Oh, there she is. There she is.

[17:33] Emily Clark: Okay, yeah. I hate every time they use their cattails for anything that's like that. Cattails are not like a fourth appendage, fifth appendage.

[17:45] Christi Esterle: Okay, here she goes. Did her collar just clip? Her collar is like clipping through her head like crazy.

[17:50] Emily Clark: Yeah, I just saw it do it.

[17:52] Christi Esterle: Oh my gosh, I hate this so much. Am I the only one that thinks that T.S. Eliot is also highly overrated?

[18:04] Emily Clark: Oh, yeah.

[18:04] Christi Esterle: If he wrote this, yeah. Just incredibly unappealing. And see, this song is a perfect example of why these songs drive me crazy. It's like, okay, we do not. All right, the gag's over. Stop it.

[18:16] Emily Clark: Whoa. We get it. We get it. You're being gross. It's like, we sing a section of the poem and a different section of the poem, and there's no bridge, and there's no tying them together. It's like, this is a Gumby Cat, but the Gumby Cat does what the Gumby Cat does. And it just goes back and forth between those two melodies with no connection between them.

[18:41] Jesse McAnally: All right, Chat, does this look like she's talking into yarn or a penis?

[18:46] Emily Clark: It's supposed to be yarn, but it doesn't look like yarn.

[18:49] Jesse McAnally: Big ol' penis.

[18:51] Christi Esterle: Oh, show us the mice. I'll hold this on just so we can get a look at the mice. Nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare.

[19:01] Emily Clark: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll be kind. I'll take that off.

[19:11] Jesse McAnally: They're never gonna let us down, those kids. They're all probably producer's kids or something. The one thing I like about this, musically, better than the actual show, is the little kid chorus when they're like, her name is Jenny Annie Dots. I'm like, okay, that's fine. Literally everything else is garbage.

[19:30] Christi Esterle: Yeah. I don't know, but they show them in frame, though, and that's not okay.

[19:40] Emily Clark: Oh, Jesus. The slapstick does not work at all.

[19:48] Jesse McAnally: It does not. The guy who did Les Mis and ruined the Tenardier song doesn't know how to do slapstick?

[19:53] Christi Esterle: What are you talking about? There's no impact to any of the, like, anything.

[19:59] Emily Clark: You know, I just thought about something. You guys remember, so Angeloid Webber executive produced this, right?

[20:04] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[20:05] Emily Clark: Like the movie?

[20:05] Jesse McAnally: Yes. Just like he did with Phantom.

[20:07] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[20:07] Emily Clark: So remember how in the Phantom movie, he had, what's her face, Emmy Rossum. 90% of the movie is her just going like that.

[20:19] Jesse McAnally: Well, that's what Sarah Brightman did, too.

[20:20] Christi Esterle: Oh, 100%.

[20:21] Emily Clark: Well, yeah, that's true. But like, it's that camera right there where you can catch every nuance of this girl with big eyes tilting her head as she listens. There's a lot of that in this movie, too, I just realized. That's like 90% of what Francesca Hayward does. She dances and then she looks with wonderment and reacts.

[20:42] Christi Esterle: What's the more competently made film, Phantom or Cats?

[20:45] Emily Clark: All right, what's worse, these or the mice?

[20:51] Jesse McAnally: That's actually a really good question.

[20:53] Christi Esterle: This is more fun to watch.

[20:54] Emily Clark: No, these are worse. Easy.

[20:56] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[20:58] Emily Clark: Yeah, I mean, when I look at them, I mean, it's like they've got cutouts. Okay, and those roaches are just, they're not motion capture, are they?

[21:06] Christi Esterle: They look like they're just in roach costumes.

[21:09] Emily Clark: And she's wearing a cat costume over her costume.

[21:16] Jesse McAnally: I don't know if they can hear you.

[21:19] Christi Esterle: I can hear him.

[21:20] Jesse McAnally: Can you?

[21:21] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[21:23] Jesse McAnally: Okay, good. He'll just...

[21:25] Christi Esterle: The cat is too dense. I love the Bubsy Berkley references. It's great. This movie's perfect, 10 out of 10.

[21:34] Emily Clark: Oh, stop eating them!

[21:36] Jesse McAnally: No, they're people! The cockroaches are people!

[21:40] Christi Esterle: They are! They have people faces! I like how we're supposed to care about the cats because they have faces, but fuck the cockroaches.

[21:53] Emily Clark: Oh, god. I love this movie. It's still not the worst movie I've ever seen, is the thing.

[22:02] Christi Esterle: No.

[22:02] Jesse McAnally: Oh!

[22:03] Emily Clark: Jason Derulo!

[22:05] Christi Esterle: Oh, shit! There he is! I can't understand a damn thing he says in this movie. Can't understand a single thing.

[22:12] Emily Clark: They go drink milk in some...

[22:14] Christi Esterle: Milk!

[22:15] Jesse McAnally: I know that one.

[22:16] Emily Clark: Yeah. He's the only one that shows up and sticks around. He's in the background of other scenes, too. That's why I give him props for not having it in his contract to be kidnapped by Macavity. He was like, oh, I'll be part of the ensemble, so, you know.

[22:32] Christi Esterle: Oh, thrusting that non-existent bulge.

[22:36] Emily Clark: Well, I like the theory that he doesn't really want to go to the Heaviside Lair, because why would he? I mean, he's strutting around, all the lady cats love him. He's getting laid. You know, yeah, he's...

[22:46] Jesse McAnally: He's indecisive. He may want to, he may not want to.

[22:50] Christi Esterle: Okay, now we've officially put more thought into this than the entire screenwriting team.

[22:56] Emily Clark: I think one of the cockroaches that were just going into the little suitcase just disappeared. I think when they flung it, it just disappeared.

[23:03] Christi Esterle: I don't know how bad it was. I think that's how bad it was. God, this movie.

[23:07] Emily Clark: It's weird how horny Francesca Hayward is for literally every character she meets.

[23:12] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, she would do all her monkey crap earlier.

[23:15] Christi Esterle: She would do all of them.

[23:17] Emily Clark: Okay, what are those cat-sized cards? They have a hotter connection than her and Mistoffelees.

[23:23] Jesse McAnally: Mistoffelees?

[23:25] Christi Esterle: But Sam, Tom Hooper says that this movie, at its core, is truly a romance between Victoria and Mistoffelees, if you actually look at the teams.

[23:33] Emily Clark: Yeah, well, Tom Hooper's not.

[23:35] Christi Esterle: Did he say that?

[23:36] Emily Clark: Yes!

[23:37] Christi Esterle: At its core.

[23:40] Emily Clark: At its core.

[23:45] Christi Esterle: Which is why I'm like, that's why you changed Mistoffelees to be a self-insert character for him and his Hugh Grant-y...

[23:49] Jesse McAnally: Why did he do these cutaways to these, like, terrible jokes?

[23:52] Christi Esterle: Bad little cutaways.

[23:54] Emily Clark: Yeah, going on and having the big neutering joke. It's like, you know, I can already tell there's nothing there. Don't make me think about what they're supposed to look like or what they don't look like.

[24:08] Christi Esterle: Oh my god. Stop, stop. You're embarrassing yourself, Rebel.

[24:12] Emily Clark: I don't know why they didn't just give more of the cats shoes. They let those hip-hop cats have shoes.

[24:18] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why most of the cats don't have pants. Skimbleshank's got pants. It just looks like they're sliding around the ground, too.

[24:25] Emily Clark: It's awful. Getting dirty. Or a coat. I mean, yeah, why do... where did the fur coats come from? Gus gets a whole outfit, doesn't he?

[24:34] Christi Esterle: The fur coat is from the beginning. The cats that get to go to the Heaviside Lair, they get made into coats.

[24:46] Emily Clark: Victoria!

[24:48] Christi Esterle: It's all part of the, uh, it's part of the cult.

[24:51] Emily Clark: Uh, what is he...

[24:53] Christi Esterle: He went for her foot, you guys. He went for her foot.

[24:55] Emily Clark: Yeah, yeah.

[24:58] Christi Esterle: It's a paw, okay. His vocal performance is not terrible. I just can't understand what he's saying.

[25:02] Emily Clark: No.

[25:03] Christi Esterle: Someone said that in the comments. Like, I do... I don't mind his performance. I just, like... It's, again, it's all these, like, poems that are adapted.

[25:09] Emily Clark: So it's all these nonsense words. And if you don't know the lyrics already, which I kind of...

[25:15] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[25:16] Emily Clark: And isn't... isn't Rum Tum Tucker... isn't he supposed to be like Mick Jagger?

[25:21] Christi Esterle: I seem to remember reading that somewhere.

[25:22] Emily Clark: Terrence Mann played the part on Broadway.

[25:25] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[25:27] Emily Clark: So that's kind of the type. But yeah, he has, like, a Jagger-ish quality on stage. I don't mind them going, like, with a more modern style. I wish they, frankly, did that with more of the movie. They could have updated a lot of this, uh, scoring.

[25:43] Christi Esterle: Best line in the movie right there. Iconic. Hashtag iconic.

[25:51] Emily Clark: This song is just the same shit over and over again.

[25:56] Christi Esterle: I feel like that's a lot of, uh, Webber's songs, though.

[25:59] Emily Clark: You're stealing my joke, which is Angeloid Webber writes five songs, repeats them a bunch, and then calls it a musical.

[26:04] Christi Esterle: I don't know. I feel like Webber doesn't even do that. He writes, like, five melody lines and then repeats them over and over again and calls it a song. Then steals half of them from other musicals that he's done, half in Puccini, and calls it Phantom of the Opera. And his evil genius is that those, like, two musical lines are so catchy that they'll stick in your brain forever.

[26:27] Emily Clark: Like, this entire song is just like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da over and over and over again.

[26:34] Christi Esterle: Yep, well, the da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. It's just going down by thirds on the scale. That's all it is. It's a freaking, like, piano warm-up.

[26:45] Emily Clark: So is the femme of the opera overture, though. And that's, like, the entire show here.

[26:49] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[26:51] Emily Clark: Oh shit, we're gonna see Grizabella.

[26:54] Christi Esterle: We can't miss that, kids.

[26:58] Emily Clark: Oh my god, we're, like, perfectly synced now. I'm so happy. I pressed the pause button, like, just enough.

[27:05] Christi Esterle: Oh, here she is.

[27:07] Christi Esterle: We hate her for reasons.

[28:07] Emily Clark: She's trying so hard.

[28:37] Christi Esterle: I just started watching the whiskers and they just move in the weirdest ways.

[28:41] Emily Clark: Yeah, they do.

[28:43] Christi Esterle: I didn't really pay attention to that before. But now I can't unsee it.

[28:50] Emily Clark: I actually kind of like her. Look at her crying!

[28:53] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[28:55] Emily Clark: Cats can't cry. They don't have tear ducts.

[28:58] Christi Esterle: And when they cry, it's like...

[29:01] Emily Clark: She was getting hairspray, Sharon.

[29:03] Christi Esterle: She was, yeah.

[29:05] Emily Clark: Oh my god, what if she was Lucy in Jekyll and Hyde?

[29:07] Christi Esterle: That could work.

[29:09] Emily Clark: Huh?

[29:13] Christi Esterle: They're making that into a movie.

[29:15] Emily Clark: I think someone big's directing it or writing it.

[29:22] Christi Esterle: Jesus.

[29:24] Emily Clark: Yeesh.

[29:26] Christi Esterle: Jesus!

[29:28] Emily Clark: So why do they all hate her?

[29:31] Christi Esterle: They're slut-shaming her, Andrew. God!

[29:33] Emily Clark: Something like that.

[29:35] Christi Esterle: In the stage show, it's just that she's old and used to be fabulous, right?

[29:39] Emily Clark: Something like that, yeah.

[29:43] Christi Esterle: Ragtime, yeah.

[29:45] Emily Clark: They're just singing a song about Rum Tum Tugger.

[29:47] Christi Esterle: I mean, they're not really opposed to sleeping around, are they?

[29:50] Emily Clark: No.

[29:52] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I mean...

[29:55] Emily Clark: It reminds me of Showgirls when, like...

[29:58] Christi Esterle: She's like, I'm sorry!

[30:00] Emily Clark: And flings herself on the car.

[30:02] Christi Esterle: Different places!

[30:05] Emily Clark: Different places!

[30:07] Christi Esterle: Someone just edit this movie and replace everything with meows.

[30:13] Emily Clark: Meow, meow.

[30:15] Christi Esterle: I like how they make it seem like she's going away, but literally she just moves like a couple yards away.

[30:19] Emily Clark: Why is she crawling?

[30:22] Christi Esterle: Why is she crawling?

[30:28] Emily Clark: What is happening?

[30:30] Christi Esterle: Oh God, guys, we're getting into the penguins!

[30:33] Emily Clark: Look out, the penguin's coming!

[30:37] Christi Esterle: Bustopher Jones, I'm Bustopher Jones!

[30:44] Emily Clark: I've always had a hatred of James Corden, but this just makes me hate him even more.

[30:50] Christi Esterle: You know, I really did not hate him for the longest time.

[30:55] Emily Clark: I really was like, he's pretty cool.

[30:57] Christi Esterle: I liked him in Into the Woods.

[30:59] Emily Clark: I thought he did a good job there.

[31:01] Christi Esterle: He did fine.

[31:03] Emily Clark: He did fine. Not amazing.

[31:05] Christi Esterle: I thought he was great casting for that part.

[31:07] Emily Clark: I don't know.

[31:09] Christi Esterle: I don't feel like... There are so many other options.

[31:11] Emily Clark: Remember when Robin Williams was supposed to be the baker, and I'm like, oh, that's perfect.

[31:15] Christi Esterle: He'd be a great choice, too.

[31:17] Emily Clark: There's a lot of different ways you can go with the part.

[31:21] Christi Esterle: Yes. If only.

[31:23] Emily Clark: Let's talk about better musicals.

[31:25] Christi Esterle: Yes, please.

[31:27] Emily Clark: I think we have been.

[31:29] Christi Esterle: This whole song is just about him being fat, right?

[31:31] Emily Clark: Yes.

[31:33] Christi Esterle: And, you know, it's like, I'll give T.S. Eliot, you know, the benefit of the doubt because it was the 1930s, but...

[31:39] Emily Clark: There's not much else to write about in the 30s, right?

[31:41] Christi Esterle: He really leaned into the fat jokes, and it's like, he should have known better.

[31:45] Emily Clark: Oh, shoot. Here he goes.

[31:47] Christi Esterle: We've got to see this, guys.

[31:49] Emily Clark: He's about to take...

[31:51] Christi Esterle: Take her.

[31:53] Emily Clark: Oh, wait!

[31:55] Christi Esterle: It's for Gavin?

[31:57] Emily Clark: Meow!

[31:59] Christi Esterle: I just like that he can, in Infinity Wars, snap people out of existence.

[32:03] Emily Clark: Great.

[32:09] Christi Esterle: Yeah, James Corden's been cast in all movie musicals.

[32:13] Emily Clark: I remember when he won as Tony, and that was the first time I'd ever heard of him.

[32:17] Christi Esterle: You know, he was big in Britain before that.

[32:19] Emily Clark: Yeah, that was like...

[32:21] Christi Esterle: And I was like, this guy is cool!

[32:23] Emily Clark: Yeah, that was like...

[32:25] Christi Esterle: One man, two girls, or whatever.

[32:27] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[32:29] Christi Esterle: And I was like, this guy is pretty cool.

[32:31] Emily Clark: And then he started doing more stuff, and I was like, good for him!

[32:33] Christi Esterle: And then all of a sudden he was everywhere, and now I'm like, I'm done.

[32:37] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[32:39] Christi Esterle: Now that I've got some musical theater people, what is our thoughts about Andrew Lloyd Webber's upcoming Cinderella musical?

[32:45] Emily Clark: Okay, guys, watch this shot.

[32:47] Christi Esterle: I don't know why we need that.

[32:49] Emily Clark: Wait.

[32:51] Christi Esterle: What are you talking about?

[32:53] Emily Clark: It's so bad.

[32:55] Christi Esterle: It goes two dimensions over a second.

[32:57] Emily Clark: Jeff is really hung up on it.

[32:59] Christi Esterle: What were you saying?

[33:01] Emily Clark: What do we all think about the Cinderella musical, Andrew Lloyd Webber? Do we need another Cinderella musical?

[33:07] Christi Esterle: Yeah, we don't, and I heard the one song from it, and I was like, yep, that's Andrew Lloyd Webber in his Not Even Trying.

[33:15] Emily Clark: Not Trying Even Less Than Your Usual.

[33:17] Christi Esterle: Oh, this is like the worst part of the whole movie.

[33:21] Emily Clark: It's like, ha ha, it's a fat joke. We get it.

[33:25] Christi Esterle: The whole song is a fat joke!

[33:27] Emily Clark: You don't even pause the song.

[33:29] Christi Esterle: But they're adding to the fat jokes, and it makes it even worse.

[33:33] Emily Clark: This is his schtick in a nutshell.

[33:35] Christi Esterle: That's like the kind of ad-libby jokes after the joke.

[33:41] Emily Clark: Yeah, and then he's like doing the face-washing thing.

[33:49] Christi Esterle: Is this the last Andrew Lloyd Webber musical?

[33:51] Emily Clark: And a crotch gag!

[33:53] Christi Esterle: Of course we need to talk about why they don't have genitals.

[33:57] Emily Clark: The slapstick doesn't work.

[34:01] Christi Esterle: Oh my god.

[34:03] Emily Clark: Yeah, alright, that is, yeah.

[34:05] Christi Esterle: And yeah, you're not convincing me that there's liquid there.

[34:11] Emily Clark: No.

[34:13] Christi Esterle: Do we really need a whole scene about eating garbage?

[34:17] Emily Clark: Obviously we do.

[34:19] Christi Esterle: It's what he does.

[34:21] Emily Clark: Are the two fat cat songs back-to-back in the stage show like they are in this?

[34:25] Christi Esterle: Kind of, yeah.

[34:29] Emily Clark: The superhero song's in there somewhere.

[34:31] Christi Esterle: I don't remember.

[34:33] Emily Clark: Oh yeah, we have the superhero cat's cut.

[34:35] Christi Esterle: Yeah, the Peaks and the Pollicles, which is the Goofy Dog song.

[34:37] Emily Clark: Oh.

[34:41] Christi Esterle: Oh, Jesus.

[34:43] Emily Clark: Ew.

[34:45] Christi Esterle: Disgusting.

[34:47] Emily Clark: Imagine if they still had their buttholes.

[34:49] Christi Esterle: I wish they did.

[34:51] Emily Clark: Oh my god. Imagine if he got crushed by that.

[34:55] Christi Esterle: Again, perspective means nothing.

[34:59] Emily Clark: Yeah, not, yeah.

[35:01] Christi Esterle: Look at that, it's like trash.

[35:03] Emily Clark: So how large are these cats?

[35:05] Christi Esterle: They're about the same size as garbage cans.

[35:07] Emily Clark: Their sizes change.

[35:09] Christi Esterle: The sizes change in every scene.

[35:11] Emily Clark: Aw, yeah, it's like Lady and the Tramp, only disgusting.

[35:15] Christi Esterle: Make cute, make cute.

[35:17] Emily Clark: Maybe this was a mistake, guys.

[35:19] Christi Esterle: It's not too late to turn on lameness.

[35:21] Emily Clark: Oh, right, that's better.

[35:25] Christi Esterle: This whole film is a mistake.

[35:27] Emily Clark: This whole film is a mistake.

[35:29] Christi Esterle: It is better, okay, come on.

[35:33] Emily Clark: Does no one recognize him? Isn't he, like, famous for being evil?

[35:37] Christi Esterle: Yeah, he's got, like, wanted posters everywhere, and they're like, oh, who is this mysterious cat?

[35:45] Emily Clark: Didn't they all run away from him?

[35:47] Christi Esterle: Maybe they're all afraid of being, like, cat racist.

[35:49] Emily Clark: Not every brown cat is fucking Macavity.

[35:53] Christi Esterle: Hm.

[35:55] Emily Clark: Oh, Macavity.

[35:57] Christi Esterle: They all run away, but he still jumps into the dumpster.

[36:07] Emily Clark: How is Idris Elba in this? Like, I don't know. I'm curious as to why he chose to do this.

[36:15] Christi Esterle: Must have been the money, I guess.

[36:19] Emily Clark: It's not like this is, like, a huge, expensive film. I mean, $90 million is expensive, but, like... He doesn't even really get to sing in it, you know?

[36:25] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[36:27] Emily Clark: I think that's why he accepted it. He's not really a singer, is he?

[36:33] Christi Esterle: Oh, these two.

[36:35] Emily Clark: I actually kind of like this scene, but I hate the version of the song they used.

[36:39] Christi Esterle: Yeah, they used, like, the worst version of this song.

[36:41] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[36:43] Christi Esterle: And that was a Tom Hooper choice.

[36:45] Emily Clark: I thought they were going to use these characters more, but they kind of disappear, and then come back...

[36:49] Christi Esterle: For, like, a second.

[36:51] Emily Clark: They come back, like... To kind of be Maccabees henchmen, sort of?

[36:57] Christi Esterle: But not really, because that's Snow's good show.

[36:59] Emily Clark: They never go anywhere with it.

[37:01] Christi Esterle: We didn't know they'd do that, the old date!

[37:05] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[37:07] Christi Esterle: And they're good! They're good dancers, and they're, like, fun to watch.

[37:11] Emily Clark: You can tell they're, like, pros.

[37:13] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[37:15] Emily Clark: One of those rare scenes I don't hate watching.

[37:17] Christi Esterle: Oh, they're jumping around in the room.

[37:21] Emily Clark: I am really grateful for the fact that they didn't try to animate the dog that tries to get in.

[37:27] Christi Esterle: Oh my god, yes! I would hate to see what that would be. I think we all had that moment where we're like, oh god, don't show the dog, don't show the dog, don't show the dog!

[37:35] Emily Clark: Because would it be a dog, or would it be a human being?

[37:37] Christi Esterle: Yeah, would it be, like, a weird dog person?

[37:41] Emily Clark: Like a human dog nightmare.

[37:43] Christi Esterle: It would be incredibly unsettling.

[37:45] Emily Clark: I'd get some, like, British character actor, Robbie Coltrane, coming in. Oh, I'm a dog! Run away!

[37:57] Christi Esterle: It's obvious that she wants to get into a three-way with these guys, right? Like, that's the vibe you guys get from this. It feels very close to what's about to happen.

[38:05] Emily Clark: They're rolling around on a bed.

[38:07] Christi Esterle: Like, look at her! And she keeps looking at both of them like, yeah, she, like, it keeps giving bedroom eyes to every single cat that's...

[38:13] Emily Clark: It's meaningful eye contact with both of them while they're on the bed, and they, like, dress her up, and she, like, this part...

[38:21] Christi Esterle: She's like, mhm.

[38:23] Emily Clark: And she's like the main character. Has she said anything this whole time? She's had, like, three lines.

[38:27] Christi Esterle: Not much!

[38:29] Emily Clark: Telling you, he likes his girls to just look...

[38:31] Christi Esterle: Oh my god. Be seen and not heard.

[38:35] Emily Clark: Let's be honest, Andrew Lloyd Webber cannot write women.

[38:37] Christi Esterle: Oh.

[38:39] Emily Clark: Or cats. Or anything else.

[38:41] Christi Esterle: I mean, it's particularly bad. I mean, Andrew Lloyd Webber has what I would consider, you know, three good female roles.

[38:49] Emily Clark: And that's, like, Evita, Christine, and Norma Desmond and all of those depend...

[38:55] Christi Esterle: All of those are only good because the actress makes them good. I mean, it's not what's written in there. It's what the actress brings to it.

[39:01] Emily Clark: I'd say Norma Desmond is the closest to being good, because that original Sunset Boulevard film just gives him such a good skeleton.

[39:11] Christi Esterle: That's very true. Yeah.

[39:13] Emily Clark: And Ava Peron was just an interesting person.

[39:17] Christi Esterle: So, just pulling from her history, you get...

[39:21] Emily Clark: A beautiful character assassination, as Andrew calls it.

[39:27] Christi Esterle: And how is she wearing rings as bracelets?

[39:31] Emily Clark: Oh, I also think it's really funny how when she, like, when Mistoffelees finds her later and she's wearing the jewelry and he looks at her like, judgy and then she's like ashamed.

[39:41] Christi Esterle: It's like, wait, what are the rules here? You're being cats!

[39:45] Emily Clark: Don't steal from the human world!

[39:49] Christi Esterle: I guess. I mean, yeah. There are no rules. Or is he just jealous that she had a three-way and she didn't hook up with him?

[39:57] Emily Clark: The cats are at all small in this scene.

[40:01] Christi Esterle: What?

[40:05] Emily Clark: What? Oh, no. Pirouette, pirouette.

[40:07] Christi Esterle: Oh. Oh, they are messing up the house! Eat some of that food, you dumb cats!

[40:11] Emily Clark: Yeah!

[40:13] Christi Esterle: Smoke a cigarette?

[40:15] Emily Clark: It's feeling good.

[40:17] Christi Esterle: Rumpo...

[40:19] Emily Clark: Tazo!

[40:21] Christi Esterle: And Mungo Jerry!

[40:27] Emily Clark: Like, they're laying in a bed all together. They're giving each other bedroom eyes.

[40:31] Christi Esterle: Oh, that thing falling was what's gonna get the dog up there, yeah.

[40:35] Emily Clark: Yeah, the dog ignores them until now.

[40:37] Christi Esterle: Not the jazzy song.

[40:39] Emily Clark: And smashing everything in the... Oh, no!

[40:40] Christi Esterle: And then they're like, bye! Whatever, bye!

[40:45] Emily Clark: Does the handheld camera, like, with this digital, like, environments really mess up anyone else?

[40:51] Christi Esterle: Oh my god. Yeah.

[40:53] Emily Clark: Yeah, because they do a very bad job of syncing everything up.

[40:57] Christi Esterle: Right. Oh, thank god.

[41:01] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Oh no, they're gonna show it! They're gonna show it!

[41:04] Christi Esterle: Why was Mistoffelees even there, is the next question.

[41:08] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: He's just stalking her!

[41:13] Christi Esterle: Was he a peepin' Tom, like George McFly? Like, what was he doing?

[41:17] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: He's a stalker, Jess.

[41:18] Christi Esterle: And then they, like, curl up, yell on each other's face.

[41:23] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[41:23] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Or G-Face.

[41:25] Christi Esterle: More bedroom eyes. No, I'm serious, that ring, it's gotta be, like, the size of, you know, a small saucer.

[41:30] Emily Clark: No, it's a baby's child ring, that thing.

[41:35] Christi Esterle: She's like, this isn't me.

[41:38] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[41:40] Christi Esterle: The ring and the watch are the same size, I mean, I'm sorry, I'm harping on this, but.

[41:45] Emily Clark: It's so bizarre.

[41:48] Christi Esterle: All of this is confusing. This entire movie doesn't make sense.

[41:51] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: This entire movie is confusing.

[41:53] Christi Esterle: Where do these cats get their clothes?

[41:55] Emily Clark: That is a very good question. Is there a little cat, Taylor, somewhere?

[41:59] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: I want to hear the Taylor Cats song. Not Taylor Swift.

[42:03] Christi Esterle: Did he just fall from the sky?

[42:04] Emily Clark: Yes, he did.

[42:05] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Oh, God, these assholes.

[42:10] Christi Esterle: I actually went to the bathroom during this part of the movie theater.

[42:14] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[42:15] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: As you should, you made the right call.

[42:19] Christi Esterle: We need to go to the bowl.

[42:23] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: I remember on the third time I saw with my brother and his friends, he just left right when he saw Scrimbleshanks was starting, and then he had a smoke and came back, and Scrimbleshanks was still going on.

[42:36] Christi Esterle: The little meow when he teleports away, my goodness.

[42:38] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[42:39] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Meow!

[42:44] Christi Esterle: So.

[42:46] Emily Clark: Ray Winstone as Growltiger.

[42:49] Christi Esterle: Why is he here?

[42:50] Emily Clark: Why is he even here? Exactly.

[42:54] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[42:55] Emily Clark: Although it's probably a good idea that they didn't do the full version of this song, because it has some, you know, very questionable Asian representation.

[43:05] Christi Esterle: Let's leave it at that.

[43:07] Emily Clark: Nice.

[43:07] Christi Esterle: I'm sad they didn't use the rap version of the Rum Tum Tugger song used in the Broadway revival.

[43:11] Emily Clark: See, he's doing his thing. It's the Thames. It's the Rivet Thames.

[43:20] Christi Esterle: He's hilarious.

[43:21] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Wasn't Growltiger just a character that Gus played in the original show?

[43:27] Christi Esterle: Yes, it's like Gus did this show within a show where he played Growltiger.

[43:32] Emily Clark: Where have you been? We've been extremely concerned about you.

[43:34] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: You new peasant.

[43:36] Christi Esterle: You new cat.

[43:39] Emily Clark: We care very greatly about you. You just showed up tonight.

[43:41] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We have an in-person chat.

[43:43] Christi Esterle: We have an in-person chat.

[43:44] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We have an in-person chat.

[43:45] Christi Esterle: We have an in-person chat.

[43:46] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We have an in-person chat.

[43:47] Christi Esterle: We have an in-person chat.

[43:48] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: We have an in-person chat.

[43:49] Christi Esterle: We haven't even figured out what your other two names are.

[43:55] Emily Clark: Who is old Deuteronomy?

[43:59] Christi Esterle: Oh, I'll sing about it.

[44:00] Emily Clark: Technically, the movie could just start here, if you think really hard.

[44:05] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[44:07] Emily Clark: You know, technically, the movie didn't have to start at all.

[44:11] Christi Esterle: Nope.

[44:12] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[44:18] Christi Esterle: I'm looking at some of the comments on the side.

[44:20] Emily Clark: I haven't really been paying attention.

[44:21] Christi Esterle: Yeah, me neither. I feel bad.

[44:23] Emily Clark: You're all wonderful.

[44:24] Christi Esterle: Some of these are really funny.

[44:26] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Go away, Jameson Rebel.

[44:30] Christi Esterle: No, they should stick around, you know, because they make money.

[44:33] Emily Clark: That's why everyone went to see this, right?

[44:35] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Nobody went to see this.

[44:37] Christi Esterle: Sharon wants to know who Ray Winstone is.

[44:40] Emily Clark: He is Growltiger, who is a new character, technically, in the movie, but in the show, he was a performance by Asparagus, the theater cat.

[44:50] Christi Esterle: Asparagus.

[44:52] Emily Clark: Oh, he was?

[44:53] Christi Esterle: Yes.

[44:54] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[44:55] Christi Esterle: And Ray Winstone, he's a British actor.

[44:57] Emily Clark: He's been around for quite a while.

[45:00] Christi Esterle: I think he was in that Beowulf movie.

[45:03] Emily Clark: Yes, he played Beowulf.

[45:05] Christi Esterle: He also played Sweeney Todd in a 2006 movie with Tom Hardy, which was pretty good.

[45:12] Emily Clark: Oh, I remember that.

[45:15] Christi Esterle: Let's see, I'm just looking at his IMDb so I can...

[45:17] Emily Clark: Where does Old Deuteronomy go and come from?

[45:19] Christi Esterle: Old Deuteronomy comes from the mist and then comes back every now and then.

[45:24] Emily Clark: She walks so slowly.

[45:25] Christi Esterle: Where does she go?

[45:27] Emily Clark: There she is.

[45:28] Christi Esterle: Well, she needs to walk slowly because we've got, like, about three choruses of this song to get through.

[45:33] Emily Clark: That's true.

[45:34] Christi Esterle: You gotta pad the movie out a bit.

[45:36] Emily Clark: I don't know why he's playing this character, Sharon.

[45:38] Christi Esterle: We don't know why.

[45:40] Emily Clark: We don't know why any of this is going on.

[45:42] Christi Esterle: We'll be honest with you.

[45:43] Emily Clark: It feels really odd that he would choose to be this part, but...

[45:47] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[45:48] Emily Clark: I do know Judi Dench was supposed to play Grizabella back in the day, like, in the London, like, readings.

[45:54] Christi Esterle: Yeah, and then she, like, broke her leg or something.

[45:57] Emily Clark: Busted her Achilles.

[45:58] Christi Esterle: And so it always killed her that she never got to be Grizabella.

[46:03] Emily Clark: So she...

[46:05] Christi Esterle: Old Deuteronomy for the movie.

[46:07] Emily Clark: Why is Old Deuteronomy the only long-haired cat in this clan?

[46:11] Christi Esterle: I know, and she looks a little better because she has a little more fluff here.

[46:15] Emily Clark: Yeah, because she's covering that weird neck.

[46:17] Christi Esterle: Yeah, she doesn't look like she's got, like, fur painted on her.

[46:21] Emily Clark: It's a status thing.

[46:23] Christi Esterle: Again, the Jellicles are a cult, and this is the cult leader.

[46:27] Emily Clark: They're the only one allowed to grow the hair out.

[46:30] Christi Esterle: I preferred it in the musical where it was just Oogie Boogie and a Moo Moo.

[46:37] Emily Clark: And it was obvious that he and Rum Chum Chugger banged once.

[46:41] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Yep.

[46:44] Christi Esterle: Oh, god.

[46:45] Emily Clark: God, all of their heads.

[46:46] Christi Esterle: If you just look at their heads for a second in that shot, they just float in this weird way.

[46:51] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[46:54] Christi Esterle: I'm glad that Ian McKellen is just there in the background.

[46:57] Emily Clark: You know, good day at work today, Ian.

[46:59] Christi Esterle: Yeah, Gus the theater cat has shown up.

[47:01] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: I feel like Ian had to just do this for the hell of it.

[47:04] Christi Esterle: He's like, sure.

[47:05] Emily Clark: Yeah, Ian McKellen is, like, one of those guys who will show up for anything for a paycheck and will, you know, make something watchable out of it.

[47:10] Christi Esterle: There's a lot of British actors like that.

[47:15] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Christopher Lee was like that.

[47:16] Christi Esterle: Oh, for sure.

[47:17] Emily Clark: Prince and Price.

[47:19] Christi Esterle: Anthony Hopkins.

[47:20] Emily Clark: I remember when he did Thor, he just wrote next to his lines on the script, N-A-R, which means no acting required.

[47:26] Christi Esterle: Oh, look at all them crawling around.

[47:29] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: If you saw that many cats crawling around for real, you'd just be like, ugh.

[47:33] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[47:36] Emily Clark: If I saw cats walking around like this and they looked like that, I don't know what I would do.

[47:43] Christi Esterle: Yeah, again, it's like this weird cultish ritual going on.

[47:46] Emily Clark: It's like, this is not natural cat behavior.

[47:49] Christi Esterle: This is not natural anything behavior.

[47:50] Emily Clark: I love that when Ian McKellen's like, meow, meow, meow.

[47:56] Christi Esterle: He is probably my favorite part.

[47:58] Emily Clark: He and Judi Dench.

[47:59] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I mean, they came out of this with their—

[48:00] Emily Clark: Look at her ring!

[48:02] Christi Esterle: Yeah, they came out of this with their dignity intact because, you know, they're Ian McKellen and Judi Dench and they can, you know, make anything look good.

[48:09] Emily Clark: And yeah, there's her wedding ring.

[48:11] Christi Esterle: How does a cat wear a ring?

[48:11] Emily Clark: What?

[48:13] Christi Esterle: Can I just thank Jeff right now for like, maintaining the chat and keeping everyone engaged and all that?

[48:19] Emily Clark: Because we sure as hell aren't.

[48:23] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Hold on, Jeff.

[48:23] Christi Esterle: Why did the cat—

[48:24] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Hold on, Jeff.

[48:26] Christi Esterle: Jeff is wonderful.

[48:28] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: I'm crushing—

[48:29] Christi Esterle: Hold on, I'm crushing your head.

[48:32] Emily Clark: Oh, I just realized we're not even halfway through this.

[48:34] Christi Esterle: Nope!

[48:35] Emily Clark: So many more introductions!

[48:38] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[48:39] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: This movie's so bad.

[48:40] Christi Esterle: There's so many more characters we got to introduce before we get this show on the road.

[48:45] Emily Clark: Oh, wait.

[48:46] Christi Esterle: After the characters are introduced, it just ends.

[48:48] Emily Clark: Okay.

[48:48] Christi Esterle: Oh, look who's here.

[48:49] Emily Clark: That's great.

[48:55] Christi Esterle: Our death cult is calling us all.

[48:58] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Jeff, is that who I think it is?

[49:00] Christi Esterle: You know that's who you think it is.

[49:02] Emily Clark: Is that the star of all your shows?

[49:03] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Oh, yeah, here we go.

[49:04] Christi Esterle: Oh, this is so gross!

[49:05] Emily Clark: It's wrong!

[49:07] Christi Esterle: So gross.

[49:08] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Yeah, this is like—

[49:09] Christi Esterle: Oh, no, don't do that with the tail.

[49:11] Emily Clark: Oh, no.

[49:12] Christi Esterle: It's like they're having some kind of mutual drug episode.

[49:15] Emily Clark: No, they do that later.

[49:16] Christi Esterle: And the synthesizer!

[49:18] Emily Clark: Oh, yes, the 80s synthesizer.

[49:20] Christi Esterle: Nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee!

[49:22] Emily Clark: Why?

[49:23] Christi Esterle: No, we got four hours before T-Swizzle shows up.

[49:25] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Yeah, Taylor Swift doesn't show up until the very end.

[49:26] Christi Esterle: Oh, you don't even know.

[49:27] Emily Clark: Taylor Swift doesn't even show up for another 20 minutes or so.

[49:32] Christi Esterle: And she shows up for maybe 10 minutes?

[49:33] Emily Clark: Oh, I think it's longer than that.

[49:35] Christi Esterle: Yeah, and then she's gone.

[49:38] Emily Clark: I think we got like 30 minutes before she shows up.

[49:40] Christi Esterle: It was like a day of filming for her.

[49:49] Emily Clark: Why didn't they adapt this?

[49:51] Christi Esterle: I don't know.

[49:53] Emily Clark: How do you adapt it?

[49:54] Christi Esterle: What would they be doing?

[49:55] Emily Clark: Orchestrate it instead of doing it with synthesizers.

[49:58] Christi Esterle: Do it with an orchestra.

[50:00] Emily Clark: But then Katz is known for that synthesizer.

[50:03] Christi Esterle: I know, but it sounds so bad on the screen.

[50:05] Emily Clark: It sounds awful.

[50:08] Christi Esterle: This is like the Chorus Line movie, the cheap synthesizer sound.

[50:13] Emily Clark: It's awful.

[50:14] Christi Esterle: At least the Chorus Line movie had the excuse of being made in the 80s.

[50:19] Emily Clark: Exactly, exactly.

[50:20] Christi Esterle: It's 20...

[50:21] Emily Clark: Well, it was 2019 when this happened.

[50:23] Christi Esterle: They could have done it.

[50:24] Emily Clark: Yes.

[50:25] Christi Esterle: Oh, there's the romance.

[50:28] Emily Clark: Yeah, Kat kisses.

[50:29] Christi Esterle: That's at the core.

[50:30] Emily Clark: That's the emotional core of this film.

[50:32] Christi Esterle: Yeah, the emotional core of the story.

[50:34] Emily Clark: Yeah, they're doing like the little hand game here.

[50:37] Christi Esterle: I have so much respect for the special effects people.

[50:40] Emily Clark: These poor people.

[50:41] Christi Esterle: They had to try to make this nonsense work.

[50:43] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Jeff, can I see your profile picture?

[50:45] Christi Esterle: It's so cool.

[50:47] Emily Clark: It's him from like...

[50:48] Christi Esterle: How long ago was that?

[50:49] Emily Clark: It's when he had his goatee.

[50:51] Christi Esterle: It was before I knew him.

[50:56] Emily Clark: Oh, he just heard it.

[50:57] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: He's delayed.

[51:01] Christi Esterle: Oh.

[51:04] Emily Clark: I guess we're doing something else now.

[51:06] Christi Esterle: Oh, snap, here we go.

[51:07] Emily Clark: Here we go, we're dancing.

[51:11] Christi Esterle: We're done with the...

[51:11] Jesse “Jess” McAnally: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

[51:13] Christi Esterle: Yes.

[51:13] Emily Clark: Rum-a-tum-tugger is a cutie.

[51:16] Christi Esterle: Look at her, she's like, oh.

[51:17] Emily Clark: Yeah, is Rum-tum-tugger coming on to Old Deuteronomy here?

[51:20] Christi Esterle: A little bit.

[51:20] Emily Clark: He was in the musical, though.

[51:22] Christi Esterle: They had a sexual nature to them.

[51:24] Emily Clark: They were lovers.

[51:27] Christi Esterle: I thought Mistoffelees was his ex.

[51:29] Emily Clark: Oh, here we go.

[51:31] Christi Esterle: No, Mistoffelees was his new boyfriend.

[51:33] Emily Clark: Old Deuteronomy was his ex.

[51:35] Christi Esterle: Yes.

[51:35] Emily Clark: Oh, okay.

[51:36] Christi Esterle: In our version of it.

[51:37] Emily Clark: Judy Dench is so turned on by all of them.

[51:40] Christi Esterle: It's so funny.

[51:41] Emily Clark: She's enjoying this way more than she should.

[51:43] Christi Esterle: She's the Jim Jones of all them, so she should.

[51:47] Emily Clark: This is the most fun cat death cult of all time.

[51:50] Christi Esterle: Who are we sacrificing today?

[51:54] Emily Clark: Rum-a-tum-tugger is a curious cat.

[51:58] Christi Esterle: They just float him away in a balloon at the end, too.

[52:01] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[52:04] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[52:07] Emily Clark: Oh, hip-hop cats.

[52:09] Christi Esterle: Hip-hop cats with tennis shoes.

[52:11] Emily Clark: They get the tennis shoes.

[52:12] Christi Esterle: What kind of cat, yeah.

[52:13] Emily Clark: And where do they, who makes the cat shoes?

[52:14] Christi Esterle: Oh my god.

[52:16] Emily Clark: Do they have like a little supply store?

[52:19] Christi Esterle: Is there like a cat pet smart that gives them this stuff?

[52:23] Emily Clark: If cats wore shoes, would it be like this, or?

[52:26] Christi Esterle: But Victoria can't have her pointe shoes for when she does fouettes.

[52:30] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[52:31] Christi Esterle: The bottom of their feet disturbs me more than anything else in this film.

[52:35] Emily Clark: Yeah, there we go.

[52:36] Christi Esterle: I don't know how many cat death cults there are out there.

[52:37] Emily Clark: See, that looks so weird.

[52:40] Christi Esterle: I just know that this is one.

[52:40] Emily Clark: It does.

[52:40] Christi Esterle: There's at least one cat death cult.

[52:40] Emily Clark: I mean, later on when she's like, you know, on pointe.

[52:44] Christi Esterle: It's here, it's here, look.

[52:46] Emily Clark: Hold on.

[52:47] Christi Esterle: See?

[52:47] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[52:48] Christi Esterle: That looks so weird, look.

[52:51] Emily Clark: She's just floating on the air.

[52:53] Christi Esterle: Pirouette, pique turn, chaine turn, turn, turn, on your, there we go.

[52:57] Emily Clark: He's doing the fouettes.

[52:59] Christi Esterle: What is the purpose of this scene?

[53:00] Emily Clark: I mean, he's amazing.

[53:03] Christi Esterle: To dance and have fun.

[53:04] Emily Clark: They just did that in the last one.

[53:07] Christi Esterle: He's doing his barrel rolls.

[53:14] Emily Clark: Apparently, this is supposed to be like a group like serenade of themselves.

[53:18] Christi Esterle: Like they kind of like a drug trip.

[53:21] Emily Clark: But they have the cat you've seen later on, don't they?

[53:24] Christi Esterle: It's an orgy, but like, no, it was them getting the Holy Spirit in them.

[53:28] Emily Clark: Was what Tom Hooper said.

[53:29] Christi Esterle: It was them all.

[53:30] Emily Clark: Yeah, we would have seen so many buttholes in that last shot.

[53:35] Christi Esterle: And yet it looks more like a cat orgy.

[53:39] Emily Clark: Is that a corgi?

[53:40] Christi Esterle: Is that like a corgi?

[53:43] Emily Clark: They're all gonna cough up something.

[53:44] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah, that sounded like a mass hairball about to start.

[53:55] Emily Clark: Look at Judy.

[53:58] Christi Esterle: She looks simultaneously enthralled and exhausted.

[54:01] Emily Clark: Just fantastic.

[54:04] Christi Esterle: Oh, they're really going for it now.

[54:08] Emily Clark: Yep, they're coming down.

[54:10] Christi Esterle: She's coming down.

[54:12] Emily Clark: Yep.

[54:14] Christi Esterle: I do not envy the janitor of that building.

[54:44] Emily Clark: Sounds sad.

[55:14] Christi Esterle: Yeah, people want to cry. Beautiful ghosts. On my second time seeing this in theatre, someone actually applauded when, um, Jennifer Hudson got to the touch me part of...

[55:27] Emily Clark: Well, yeah.

[55:29] Christi Esterle: She's like touch me. It's like, oh my goodness. If there was a story and this was the climax of it, this would be so emotional.

[55:39] Emily Clark: Yeah, if this was her story.

[55:48] Christi Esterle: Tom Hooper doing that we're gonna stay on your face the whole time thing. You know why he did that? Lame is right.

[55:54] Emily Clark: To show that they're for real singing and acting. No, he did it because he didn't film it right.

[55:59] Christi Esterle: So every single shot he did was at a different tempo so he couldn't cut between them. Then he used that as an excuse. How do you screw that up?

[56:07] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[56:09] Christi Esterle: So he had this, that's mainly the reason why he couldn't edit "I Dreamed a Dream."

[56:14] Emily Clark: Oh my god, but because he didn't have a click track.

[56:19] Christi Esterle: Yes. He just had the piano player.

[56:22] Emily Clark: Why not have a... why would you?

[56:30] Christi Esterle: It's so unprofessional. So he could only cut on tempo changes. I'm beginning to think Tom Hooper's a bad director. What?

[56:32] Emily Clark: He's a bad. He's yeah.

[56:40] Christi Esterle: He doesn't understand directing musicals. I mean, he doesn't understand film altogether.

[56:42] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah, I've seen "The Danish Girl." Yeah, he doesn't know how to direct movies. Okay. I like "The King's Speech," although that just could be...

[56:47] Emily Clark: Have you seen "The Danish Girl"?

[56:50] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[56:51] Christi Esterle: So, Andrew Lloyd Webber does not write books. He just writes music and he doesn't write lyrics.

[56:57] Emily Clark: So who actually created the story of these poems? It must have been the director.

[57:03] Christi Esterle: Trevor? No. Yeah. Yeah, the director.

[57:04] Emily Clark: So Trevor Nunn directed "Cats" with him and he's the one who gave the show its plot device of the Heaviside Layer.

[57:11] Christi Esterle: And then he's the one who reshaped, um, an old T.S. Eliot poem and put it to an old Andrew Lloyd Webber melody that Andrew had thrown away. And that's why we have "Memories."

[57:30] Emily Clark: So for those Hayden Wilder, yes, please. Give me this. I want it.

[57:32] Christi Esterle: We just get... and all the trains look like people like this.

[57:37] Emily Clark: Talk about "Cats" being unwatchable. Like, oh my god, "Starlight Express" is a whole other level.

[57:45] Christi Esterle: Yeah, train British musicals are different than ours.

[57:48] Emily Clark: European musicals in general are different. They're very big. They're all just... they're very big.

[57:55] Christi Esterle: Or they have one very big thing that you look forward to, whether it be a helicopter, a chandelier...

[58:01] Emily Clark: Yeah, yeah, a barricade. A lot of spectacle.

[58:08] Christi Esterle: What is the big thing in "Cats"? Um, the tire that takes her up to the...

[58:13] Emily Clark: Yeah, you're ascending into the Heaviside Layer at the end. In the movie, it's the balloon with the chandelier.

[58:18] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[58:19] Emily Clark: Both are ridiculous.

[58:22] Christi Esterle: Yeah, Roger Ebert had this thing that was like, except for "The Wizard of Oz" and maybe one or two other exceptions, no good movie has had a hot air balloon in it.

[58:27] Emily Clark: And this would... this kind of proves that point. Um, "The Chipmunk Adventure" is...

[58:37] Christi Esterle: Fantastic. Okay. I'll give you "The Chipmunk Adventure." No, I'm bothered. I want to... god, I love that movie as a kid.

[58:43] Emily Clark: "The Chipmunk Adventure" is amazing. They do a balloon race around the world and then they sing this song called "Boys of Rock and Roll."

[58:51] Christi Esterle: Against what about "The Adventures of Mark Twain" where they literally meet Satan?

[58:56] Emily Clark: Yes.

[59:01] Christi Esterle: And we're completely off track.

[59:04] Emily Clark: What about "Angry Birds 2"? You can tell we've tuned out because the song is so boring.

[59:11] Christi Esterle: And she's now about the size of a beaver or something.

[59:16] Emily Clark: Their size just fluctuates.

[59:22] Christi Esterle: Yeah, all I wanted was to be wanted.

[59:31] Emily Clark: Well, that narrows it down. Does "haunted" and "wanted" rhyme? Really?

[59:37] Christi Esterle: That's Kim Rice bullshit right there and I don't like that. I don't approve of that.

[59:40] Emily Clark: It's close enough.

[59:44] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah, you can tell that Taylor Swift... and you know, they collaborated, but Taylor just had to write the lyrics, right? Because...

[59:51] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[59:54] Christi Esterle: I saw some footage of it earlier today where she's just on her phone and he's like playing piano. She's like, sure, yeah, whatever, I'll turn something, whatever, Andrew.

[59:58] Emily Clark: Yep, I feel like that had to be a stipulation in her contract, right? Like, all right, I get to write a song, I'll show up for my one day and you're gonna make me the star here.

[1:00:03] Christi Esterle: Oh, I bet they saw that as like such a freaking win. They were like, we got Taylor.

[1:00:11] Emily Clark: Yeah, I mean, what nothing of a character there is.

[1:00:17] Christi Esterle: What's her character? Bumble Arena?

[1:00:24] Emily Clark: And Judy is watching.

[1:00:29] Christi Esterle: See, it's shit like this where they're saying these little lines and I'm like, what does this have to do?

[1:00:33] Emily Clark: I think this is like cobbled together from some other T.S. Eliot stuff. It sounds like his kind of...

[1:00:39] Christi Esterle: It sounds like his thing. This shot looks pretty nice though. Like, this doesn't look terrible.

[1:00:49] Emily Clark: Yeah, she comes off looking okay.

[1:00:51] Christi Esterle: Yeah, and I don't know why. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the bigger hair or maybe it could be... I mean, it looks... you know, it does kind of look like she's got a hood on, but it looks better than a lot of other things.

[1:01:04] Emily Clark: You can see her real chin.

[1:01:13] Christi Esterle: Wait, Jack Black wrote the lyrics to "School of Rock"?

[1:01:18] Emily Clark: He'll get it in a second.

[1:01:21] Christi Esterle: No, but later wrote the lyrics to improvise stuff in the movie. What, the last song he wrote?

[1:01:25] Emily Clark: Yeah, yeah, in the last song.

[1:01:31] Christi Esterle: I'm just saying the stuff that's good, like the math song.

[1:01:35] Emily Clark: Gotcha.

[1:01:42] Christi Esterle: I remember Jack Black is a better lyricist that he wouldn't say like, if you can play the guitar, then you can play the bass, like that terrible "You're in the Band" thing.

[1:01:46] Emily Clark: No, he says, uh, yeah, no, it's like the... in the movie, he's like, it's the cello. It's the same as the bass. You turn it on the side, hello, you got a bass.

[1:01:50] Christi Esterle: Not true. I was so...

[1:01:52] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:01:53] Christi Esterle: And I was so bored.

[1:01:56] Emily Clark: But it's because I don't really like... I don't love the movie adaptations on stage, especially when it's a movie that I've seen a million times because then you're just like, well, I'm just watching the movie now.

[1:02:06] Christi Esterle: Oh, don't do the drinking water thing.

[1:02:11] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:02:14] Christi Esterle: It's... it says something that Ian McKellen can take a role where he has to lick a water milk out of a bowl and still come out of it with his dignity.

[1:02:22] Emily Clark: It's very obvious that the commentary was done before the movie came out because he was talking about Ian McKellen going up for like supporting actor for this role.

[1:02:33] Christi Esterle: Yeah, right.

[1:02:34] Emily Clark: And how like moving this part is and like it should be a great stomp on his career.

[1:02:40] Christi Esterle: They really thought...

[1:02:42] Emily Clark: They really thought this was gonna be it.

[1:02:44] Christi Esterle: They, yeah, they honestly thought that this was going to be Oscar material.

[1:02:48] Emily Clark: I don't know how, but...

[1:02:53] Christi Esterle: Well, the musical did so well. I mean, it's gotta do...

[1:02:57] Emily Clark: The musical did so well because it was a shit year for musicals.

[1:03:02] Christi Esterle: That was a lot of shit years in a row.

[1:03:06] Emily Clark: Yeah, they were a pretty rough time. It was like, what was it? It was like '88 or '86 or '87 or something that didn't even have a best musical nomination. Thanks, AIDS crisis. You ruined everything.

[1:03:15] Christi Esterle: Well, I remember in the late '90s when "Contact" won Best Musical and that was...

[1:03:21] Emily Clark: Ridiculous. Yeah, remember when "Rent" won Best Musical?

[1:03:25] Christi Esterle: Well, yeah, and then it was like absolute sense before that. Son, before that "Sunset Boulevard" won because it was like that and like one other show that was nominated.

[1:03:35] Emily Clark: It's so weird. I don't even remember what the other show was. It was like how the Tonys mean nothing.

[1:03:42] Christi Esterle: Well, especially this year because they're not...

[1:03:45] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:03:46] Christi Esterle: Well, I mean half the shows that would have been nominated can't even, um, open. I mean, you know, "Six."

[1:03:51] Emily Clark: Um, they shut down Broadway with on the day "Six" was supposed to open.

[1:03:57] Christi Esterle: Jesus, because during previous one of the, um, ushers...

[1:04:02] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:04:05] Christi Esterle: Oh.

[1:04:12] Emily Clark: See, like...

[1:04:14] Christi Esterle: Uh, see, I wish he had boots.

[1:04:16] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:04:18] Christi Esterle: I wish he had more hair because he's got like this nice fluffy tail.

[1:04:24] Emily Clark: Oh.

[1:04:26] Christi Esterle: I agree, Eponine.

[1:04:39] Emily Clark: Oh, god.

[1:04:42] Christi Esterle: I would have loved to have seen Angela Rubber, like, like seeing them nominated for "Beautiful Ghosts" and him being there while Taylor Swift goes...

[1:04:49] Emily Clark: Oh.

[1:04:54] Christi Esterle: Him with like these cat ballet dancers, you know, doing this thing behind them, that'd be fantastic.

[1:05:02] Emily Clark: Francesca, hey, we're doing an interpretive dance in the background.

[1:05:10] Christi Esterle: Ian is doing a very toothy performance. He does that later where he's like...

[1:05:16] Emily Clark: This is the most boring part of the movie.

[1:05:19] Christi Esterle: So, let's talk about anything that is in the movie. Andrew, what have you eaten today?

[1:05:24] Andrew: I had a bagel and a hash brown. That's about it.

[1:05:29] Emily Clark: I've had eggs and like some chips and beer.

[1:05:34] Andrew: Man, that's a meal. All right. How about you, Emily?

[1:05:37] Christi Esterle: I had a grilled cheese with bacon and, um, you know, some soda. That's good. That's good. And some Lindor truffles.

[1:05:44] Emily Clark: Man.

[1:05:46] Christi Esterle: The cheesy awards, now there's an idea.

[1:05:54] Emily Clark: Oh my gosh, that sounds like a lot of work for me to do the cheesy...

[1:06:00] Christi Esterle: Okay, you guys have a commission now.

[1:06:07] Emily Clark: Wow.

[1:06:09] Christi Esterle: If someone funds it, we'll make it happen. Like if someone like gives me literally only like a hundred dollars, I'll do it.

[1:06:14] Emily Clark: The cheesy awards.

[1:06:24] Christi Esterle: Yes, we just take anything that's on Broadway at the moment and we just rate them based on their cheese.

[1:06:31] Emily Clark: Except nothing is on Broadway at the moment, unfortunately.

[1:06:36] Christi Esterle: Exactly, we win.

[1:06:44] Emily Clark: So many moments of these cats like exposing their bellies and like scratching them.

[1:06:44] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:06:48] Christi Esterle: Yeah, that's just me when I'm alone in my apartment during the...

[1:06:48] Emily Clark: There's nothing visually appealing about this entire film.

[1:06:53] Emily Clark: Exactly.

[1:06:53] Christi Esterle: Um, maybe... yeah, nothing. Nothing at all.

[1:06:58] Emily Clark: I just want to look away at all times.

[1:07:03] Christi Esterle: I can think of one. Actually, that's a really good idea. Miss Nightmare about to do her leg thing.

[1:07:11] Emily Clark: Oh, yeah.

[1:07:13] Christi Esterle: It's my favorite moment. All right, when she does it, we all have to do the leg thing, okay? Here we go.

[1:07:20] Emily Clark: I am depressed that Judy Dench...

[1:07:23] Christi Esterle: I'm trying. My agent can do leg things better than me. Oh, I don't think I can do this, folks. Here she goes.

[1:07:25] Emily Clark: Hold on. She's about to do it.

[1:07:29] Christi Esterle: And...

[1:07:31] Emily Clark: Oh my god.

[1:07:33] Christi Esterle: I couldn't do it.

[1:07:37] Emily Clark: And they're... yeah.

[1:07:39] Christi Esterle: They sound like... yeah, kick the sleeping dog. Sorry, Casper.

[1:07:41] Emily Clark: I don't know if they're like supposed to be showing pleasure or if they're hungry or...

[1:07:45] Christi Esterle: Want attention.

[1:07:49] Emily Clark: All right, so if Macavity hadn't fucked up everything, would he win by a landslide?

[1:07:54] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah, cap the...

[1:07:48] Christi Esterle: Makevity has like the best freaking presentation of all of them. I mean if that's what we're going to judge on.

[1:07:53] Emily Clark: Oh wait, here we go the best part.

[1:07:56] Christi Esterle: Makevity!

[1:07:58] Emily Clark: That is so dumb.

[1:08:03] Christi Esterle: This movie's great guys. Did just Elba like have to go into like the ADR booth and they were like, hey could you just say your name?

[1:08:11] Emily Clark: Okay yeah, just say Makevity! Say your name, say meow!

[1:08:15] Christi Esterle: Guys, can we talk about how there is no transition between what we just saw and this next song?

[1:08:21] Emily Clark: What we're looking at right now?

[1:08:23] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:08:25] Emily Clark: Like we just go right into Scrimbleshanks, don't we?

[1:08:29] Christi Esterle: And why is he introducing Scrimbleshanks?

[1:08:33] Emily Clark: I don't know. We can't just introduce this weird character out of nowhere. We need to introduce him a little bit.

[1:08:39] Christi Esterle: How come Munkenstrap doesn't get to introduce himself? That is not fair. Why does he have to be the hype man for all the other cats?

[1:08:47] Emily Clark: Yeah, you just have to guess what his name is and shit. Scrimbleshanks is the best scene in this entire movie though.

[1:08:53] Christi Esterle: It is true, yeah. There he is.

[1:08:57] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:08:59] Christi Esterle: Scimbleshanks in his fabulous pants.

[1:09:01] Emily Clark: Uh huh. The whole point is they want to be reborn as something, right? So what does he want to be reborn as? What is it like their next life?

[1:09:11] Christi Esterle: I don't know. Maybe he wants to be reborn as Thomas the Tank Engine. Does he want to be the train cat? Half man, half train. All cats.

[1:09:21] Emily Clark: Is he a tapper cat in the show?

[1:09:23] Christi Esterle: What was that?

[1:09:25] Emily Clark: No, I don't think he is.

[1:09:27] Christi Esterle: No, he just turns the cats into a train.

[1:09:29] Emily Clark: Well, I like this a lot. I think making him a tapper is a good choice.

[1:09:33] Christi Esterle: Yeah. It's nice.

[1:09:37] Emily Clark: And some shoes on.

[1:09:39] Christi Esterle: He got that thick booty though. I mean, this is the best looking the whole show has looked.

[1:09:43] Emily Clark: Yeah. That might be real pants and shoes.

[1:09:47] Christi Esterle: I mean, and their sizes change. Yeah, I mean, they kind of go like, they kind of like become the two inches when they go into the fantasy sequence. But...

[1:09:55] Emily Clark: Considering that puss in boots is a thing, it just surprises me how few cats with shoes there are.

[1:09:59] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Man, all these cats should have had boots. This is the best looking thing in the movie.

[1:10:07] Emily Clark: Just make them furries.

[1:10:09] Christi Esterle: Not weird...

[1:10:11] Emily Clark: Yeah. They should just look like cool cats saves the kids. Honestly, I'd watch it.

[1:10:17] Christi Esterle: Not weird tabaxis. That doesn't show it up. Nobody gets that joke yet.

[1:10:25] Emily Clark: Nobody gets that joke yet. We're with dragons people once more.

[1:10:29] Christi Esterle: Yeah. And now we're into a weird green screen area. They're so small.

[1:10:35] Emily Clark: They're like the size of the roaches now.

[1:10:37] Christi Esterle: Yeah, they're like this teeny tiny. So small. This song sounds like it could have been in Joe Smith and the Technicolor Dreamcoat.

[1:10:45] Emily Clark: It does. It absolutely does.

[1:10:49] Christi Esterle: Which is why it's the best song in the show. Andrew is the big Joseph Defender among us.

[1:10:55] Emily Clark: I have never seen him have so much joy. It's so goofy and ridiculous. You can't say it's bad.

[1:11:01] Christi Esterle: Oh, I can. It's so goofy. Joseph and Cats are both what I call silly fluff shows. Cats doesn't have a story and Joseph doesn't.

[1:11:11] Emily Clark: Yeah. There's absolutely no real deep meaning or anything. It's just silly fluff for two hours.

[1:11:19] Christi Esterle: Jeff, sing your song from when you did Joseph. Jeff did Joseph twice, right?

[1:11:25] Emily Clark: Three times.

[1:11:27] Christi Esterle: Who did you play?

[1:11:29] Jeff: I played Levi and then I played Joseph.

[1:11:31] Christi Esterle: Is Levi the one who does One More Angel in Heaven?

[1:11:35] Jeff: Oh, I hate that song.

[1:11:37] Christi Esterle: Everyone hates that song.

[1:11:39] Jeff: I hate that song. I'm so sorry.

[1:11:41] Christi Esterle: That's what you do when you're a kid. Skimbleshanks, look at that guy.

[1:11:49] Emily Clark: Is Jason Derulo in this scene just anywhere?

[1:11:53] Christi Esterle: I don't know. Let's look for his fur coat. Let's see.

[1:11:57] Emily Clark: He's in other scenes, that's for sure.

[1:11:59] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Victoria now seems like all turned on by Skimble. I mean, I can't blame her, but she wants them all.

[1:12:09] Emily Clark: She doesn't get any of them, though.

[1:12:13] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I don't know if Jason Derulo is there. Oh, wait, some of them have tap shoes!

[1:12:19] Emily Clark: Where did they get the shoes from? I never noticed that.

[1:12:23] Christi Esterle: It's a cat keeper. He's coming out. Here we go.

[1:12:31] Emily Clark: Yes.

[1:12:35] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah, just a reminder. If y'all want to chat with us after the movie's over, you gotta donate something to COVID-19 Relief. Just a reminder to those listening.

[1:12:45] Emily Clark: Here he goes!

[1:12:47] Christi Esterle: Oh, no! He got snapped!

[1:12:51] Emily Clark: Oh my God! Now we're concerned about this!

[1:12:55] Christi Esterle: Now Rum Tum Tugger shows up again. Macavity! Macavity!

[1:13:03] Emily Clark: I feel like Macavity is a lot more of a threat if he can just teleport people away.

[1:13:07] Christi Esterle: Yeah. That seems like the most impressive thing. How far are we into the movie now?

[1:13:13] Emily Clark: An hour and nine minutes.

[1:13:15] Christi Esterle: An hour and ten minutes. And now...

[1:13:19] Emily Clark: Seventeen minutes into the film. Her high heels on her cat feet look really uncomfortable to me.

[1:13:27] Christi Esterle: The scrimbles, like, tattoos look fine. I don't know why this is.

[1:13:31] Emily Clark: It's because of the pants, I'm telling you.

[1:13:35] Christi Esterle: Yeah, she needs to wear pants, because if not, you look like a naked person in high heels, which is weird.

[1:13:41] Emily Clark: Oh, shit! Oh, catnip!

[1:13:45] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Thank you, Taylor Swift. And we're honestly acknowledging that this is a drug trip.

[1:13:51] Emily Clark: Yep. Not there! Drives me crazy, the fake British accents on Jason Derulo and her.

[1:14:01] Christi Esterle: Not there! Like, why even bother?

[1:14:05] Emily Clark: Because then the rhymes don't work if you're doing it in a normal accent.

[1:14:11] Christi Esterle: Oh, that's actually really true.

[1:14:15] Emily Clark: Yeah. They try doing that with Jesus Christ Superstar, but then no matter what, fraud and lord does not rhyme in American.

[1:14:23] Christi Esterle: Oh, fraud lord. Macavity is the best.

[1:14:31] Emily Clark: What are you talking about, die-hard alien? Macavity sucks so much, it's pathetic.

[1:14:37] Christi Esterle: Excuse me? Who did I call Scrimbleshanks?

[1:14:43] Emily Clark: It's Skimbleshanks! Skimbleshanks. Does it matter?

[1:14:51] Christi Esterle: No. I think Scrimbleshanks is a better name, honestly, at this point.

[1:15:01] Emily Clark: Oh, here we go.

[1:15:09] Christi Esterle: Her head just won't be still! And now we've got, like, Cirque du Soleil cats.

[1:15:15] Emily Clark: Ah, geez! She's got, like, that two seconds where her claws come out, and it's like, whoa, what?

[1:15:21] Christi Esterle: I don't like the fact that she has cat boobs, honestly. They're, like, prominent in the way that all the other cats aren't.

[1:15:31] Emily Clark: Yeah. She has, like, a cat push-up bra. She was like, I really want to look sexy. I want to be a sexy cat.

[1:15:39] Christi Esterle: Yeah, all those other cats are not quite as prominent with it. And I've seen what Taylor Swift looks like in real life, so it also bothers me to look at her.

[1:15:51] Emily Clark: This song is so weird. I just hate the human skin on the face.

[1:15:59] Christi Esterle: Yeah, it's like they have fur, and then all of a sudden it goes to makeup for some reason. It's really distracting with Judi Dench, because you can kind of, like, see the blend.

[1:16:11] Emily Clark: Yeah. So, was she just sitting in that crescent moon for an indefinite amount of time?

[1:16:21] Christi Esterle: 70 minutes, at least.

[1:16:23] Emily Clark: Yeah. Well, it made her decide. Should I do it after Gus' song? Nah, let's wait until after Skimbleshank's song.

[1:16:31] Christi Esterle: She waited until...

[1:16:35] Emily Clark: No, I don't get what's going on!

[1:16:37] Christi Esterle: I don't know! Wait, who's that cat?

[1:16:41] Emily Clark: She waited until all the other cats were kidnapped. I don't know! Yeah, who's the cat with the beret?

[1:16:45] Christi Esterle: That's a beret cat.

[1:16:47] Emily Clark: Yeah, who is that?

[1:16:49] Christi Esterle: Beret cat, the Frenchie cat.

[1:16:53] Emily Clark: Ha! That's just the other Macavity cat.

[1:16:59] Christi Esterle: Macat... viddy. Oh, she's Griddlebo.

[1:17:05] Emily Clark: Okay, oh, whatever. See, they gave her a name. All the cats have a name. Why did we even need her, though?

[1:17:13] Christi Esterle: Why did we even need her? We already established when we were hearing about her. Because there's a lyric.

[1:17:19] Emily Clark: Yeah, because there's a lyric that mentions her, basically.

[1:17:21] Christi Esterle: Oh, there he is! That's yummy! You know, I'm a heterosexual woman, you know, I would not mind seeing Idris Elba and the All Together, but this is wrong somehow.

[1:17:33] Emily Clark: It's so weird. He looks way better with the clothes on.

[1:17:37] Christi Esterle: Yeah. They should have just let him keep the hat on and keep the coat. I don't know what...

[1:17:41] Emily Clark: exactly. But then you can't tell if he's actually doing the dance moves.

[1:17:45] Christi Esterle: I get why they did it. Doesn't make it right.

[1:17:47] Emily Clark: Yeah, I mean, look at this. I mean, he's got, like, the staircase and, like, this big production number. I mean, he obviously put a lot of effort into this.

[1:17:55] Christi Esterle: I mean, if we're deciding based on who has the best song, I mean, he should get it in a walk. But, like, it's so funny how he's not even in the song until the ending part, and he's singing about him. He should have been around, at least.

[1:18:07] Emily Clark: Yeah, it's weird. I feel like he really can't dance because they really don't... they're showing as little of his dancing as possible.

[1:18:15] Christi Esterle: Yeah, that's probably fair. I got a question. Is Macavity the Tanya Harding of the cat world?

[1:18:23] Emily Clark: Um, that's probably accurate. Take out the competition.

[1:18:29] Christi Esterle: His green eyes. Yeah, the green eyes that, you know, don't fit anywhere. Are those contact lenses, or is that CGI?

[1:18:37] Emily Clark: Do you think they would've, like, CGI'd the eyes, but not the rest of the body? Like, if they're doing the body, they're gonna do the eyes.

[1:18:45] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Macavity! Oh, this is such a nonsense plot cul-de-sac.

[1:18:51] Emily Clark: Yeah. Oh, okay. Why did he even cheat?

[1:18:53] Christi Esterle: He can do, like, all this amazing magic. Like, why not just actually do a good show and win?

[1:19:01] Emily Clark: He was really intimidated by the fat cat, the other fat cat, the old man cat!

[1:19:05] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I mean, he's got some stiff competition, for sure. More to the point, if she's like the god cat, you know, where are her magic powers? She's just there.

[1:19:13] Emily Clark: Yeah. Why doesn't he just get his own hot air balloon and just fly?

[1:19:19] Christi Esterle: Yeah, really, exactly! He's magic! Why did he take the set?

[1:19:25] Emily Clark: I don't know why he took the set. That is weird.

[1:19:29] Christi Esterle: He took the staircase and everything. Yeah. It's part of him.

[1:19:35] Emily Clark: Oh, and this! She's like, Oh! Oh no! Oh no! What will I do? What will I do?

[1:19:41] Christi Esterle: And it's going to, like, take them, like, ten minutes to, like, do anything to her, because, you know, we've still got this song to get through.

[1:19:47] Emily Clark: Yeah, don't worry, we've got this awful song. Oh, and this song goes so freakin' slow.

[1:19:53] Christi Esterle: Yes. Yeah, that's part of the problem of, like, making Mistoffelees this novice magician. I liked it when he just showed up as a deus ex machina to save the day as Rum Tum Tugger's boyfriend.

[1:20:05] Emily Clark: Yeah. I mean, it was no sillier than anything else in the rest of the show. Let's be honest.

[1:20:11] Christi Esterle: Truth. Uh... The Cavity! It's 2019. This was the excuse that Tom Hooper gave. It's 2019. Why shouldn't Old Deuteronomy be a woman? And then as soon as he made her a woman, he made her get fridged, kidnapped, and make a man have to save her.

[1:20:29] Emily Clark: And then he had to, like, change the lyrics so she wouldn't be a lesbian. Yep.

[1:20:35] Christi Esterle: Oh, of course. You can't have that. Didn't Old Deuteronomy get kidnapped in the actual show, too, though?

[1:20:41] Emily Clark: He did, but...

[1:20:43] Christi Esterle: He got murdered in the actual show, let's be fair.

[1:20:45] Emily Clark: Yeah, he got murdered and then un-murdered.

[1:20:49] Christi Esterle: Yeah. So, honestly, he did her a favor. She's like, we have a magician! We have one! He just does magic! He's beautiful and I have a crush on him.

[1:21:01] Emily Clark: For some reason. He does card tricks. And now this takes forever. With Weird Cat 5 cards.

[1:21:11] Christi Esterle: I forgot about this, but I remember this interview. Judy Dench claimed the character is trans?

[1:21:22] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah. Transitioning from human to cat, maybe? And we all... Oh, well, there never was a... They sing this chorus. Oh, yeah. And this chorus is just... So many times. A whole song, and they just keep going. It never ends.

[1:21:45] Emily Clark: Yeah. Well, that's the other problem with slowing down this song. I mean, it's, you know... It gets old enough in the original... At the original tempo, but if you're doing it slow like this, it's like, okay, we get it.

[1:22:02] Christi Esterle: And, like, the things he pulls out of his hat are not the right size comparative to what he is.

[1:22:07] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:22:09] Christi Esterle: Like, how big are those cards? Those are tiny, tiny cards.

[1:22:12] Emily Clark: How big is that dice?

[1:22:13] Christi Esterle: Yeah. That is a tiny dice. Why does he have fully human hands?

[1:22:19] Emily Clark: I know. It's really unsettling.

[1:22:22] Christi Esterle: Yeah. All their hands are like that. They just... It's so weird.

[1:22:25] Emily Clark: Yeah. But the fork is, like, longer.

[1:22:29] Christi Esterle: No, it's not even... It's so weird. It's, like, larger than normal, but it's not cat-sized. What is going on here?

[1:22:36] Emily Clark: And we've seen cat-sized forks earlier in the movie.

[1:22:38] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Zero fork consistency.

[1:22:46] Emily Clark: Hi, Charlie.

[1:22:47] Christi Esterle: Hi, Charlie.

[1:22:48] Emily Clark: Oh, look, a dog. That is definitely not a cat, though.

[1:22:52] Christi Esterle: Come here, sweetie. And nothing happens.

[1:23:00] Emily Clark: They had to add tension. Nothing's happening.

[1:23:03] Christi Esterle: My favorite is just the side eyes that Demeter gives throughout the entire movie. Like, if you just watch her throughout it, it's great.

[1:23:08] Emily Clark: Yeah, it just kind of gives that little, yeah, whatever. Wanna watch cats, Charlie?

[1:23:15] Christi Esterle: There's a puppy.

[1:23:16] Emily Clark: There's a puppy.

[1:23:19] Christi Esterle: He's so tired.

[1:23:21] Emily Clark: He's so bored by this movie.

[1:23:23] Christi Esterle: Me, too. It's okay. There's only, like, a half hour left to go.

[1:23:27] Emily Clark: Oh, God, still got a half hour left to go.

[1:23:30] Christi Esterle: The realization. You would think that we're, like, near the climax or something, but no, there is no climax.

[1:23:35] Emily Clark: Yeah, I would think that this would be wrapping up. There is no climax to the story.

[1:23:40] Christi Esterle: Check this out. I'm gonna run to the restroom. Y'all have fun.

[1:23:43] Emily Clark: I'm gonna do that, too.

[1:23:44] Christi Esterle: I'm gonna do that, too, because I really have to go. But I bet the song's still gonna be going by the time I come back.

[1:23:48] Emily Clark: Let's see. Yep, yep, yep. Chrissy, Andrew, have fun with the audience.

[1:23:53] Christi Esterle: Oh, why did we have to bring the mice back?

[1:24:00] Emily Clark: The mice have returned.

[1:24:01] Christi Esterle: Yep.

[1:24:04] Emily Clark: I just feel like I'm losing it the longer this goes on.

[1:24:07] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:24:08] Emily Clark: Okay, this is, like, what, attempt two here.

[1:24:12] Christi Esterle: Oh, it didn't happen again.

[1:24:13] Emily Clark: Oh, my God.

[1:24:14] Christi Esterle: Oh, my gosh.

[1:24:17] Emily Clark: Oh, my God.

[1:24:30] Christi Esterle: Oh! I just realized his magic wand is a pencil.

[1:24:35] Emily Clark: It is definitely not the right size pencil.

[1:24:37] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:24:40] Emily Clark: He's, like, a comically small pencil.

[1:24:42] Christi Esterle: Oh, my God. Should we sing again or not?

[1:24:47] Emily Clark: No, let's just play it one more time.

[1:24:49] Christi Esterle: Maybe another chorus?

[1:24:53] Emily Clark: Yeah, but this time it's the romantic part.

[1:24:56] Christi Esterle: He's failed.

[1:24:57] Emily Clark: He's failed as a magic cat.

[1:25:00] Christi Esterle: He's failed.

[1:25:10] Emily Clark: Well, now everyone thinks I can do it.

[1:25:12] Christi Esterle: I'm, like, last time where no one thought I could do it.

[1:25:17] Emily Clark: Maybe it's, like, the 15th try of the chorus makes it work.

[1:25:24] Christi Esterle: It's, like, you have to chant spells, like, three times or seven times to make them work. Maybe that's what they're doing here.

[1:25:30] Emily Clark: I don't know.

[1:25:31] Christi Esterle: What?

[1:25:32] Emily Clark: She's not even back yet.

[1:25:33] Christi Esterle: No, she's not even back yet. We're, like, on the 10th iteration of this chorus.

[1:25:38] Emily Clark: His magic wand is a pencil.

[1:25:40] Christi Esterle: I just saw that. I just realized that. Are you kidding me?

[1:25:46] Emily Clark: It's a pencil.

[1:25:49] Christi Esterle: I never noticed that.

[1:25:51] Emily Clark: Maybe we sing again.

[1:25:52] Christi Esterle: I don't know. I guess she's not coming back.

[1:25:55] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:25:56] Christi Esterle: I guess she's not coming back.

[1:25:58] Emily Clark: Jeff is asking the important questions. She's all wet because she swam here after getting wet.

[1:26:06] Christi Esterle: I got tired of you waiting for you losers to rescue me, so I just walked back.

[1:26:11] Emily Clark: You were singing about whether you were magic or not for a good 20 minutes, so I just solved the problem myself.

[1:26:21] Christi Esterle: Yes.

[1:26:22] Emily Clark: And now they're going to sing it 19 more times.

[1:26:25] Christi Esterle: Yeah. You notice Macavity doesn't have a pencil.

[1:26:27] Emily Clark: And we're, like, doing head rubs right around her.

[1:26:30] Christi Esterle: We're, like, doing head—

[1:26:31] Emily Clark: Oh, but now he can just summon cards.

[1:26:33] Christi Esterle: And now he's just, like, flying.

[1:26:35] Emily Clark: Okay.

[1:26:36] Christi Esterle: Oh, now he can just do it all!

[1:26:38] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:26:39] Christi Esterle: All right, team. But now he believes in himself.

[1:26:42] Emily Clark: And that's what matters.

[1:26:43] Christi Esterle: We've been requested to do a good musical next week. What would it be?

[1:26:47] Emily Clark: A good musical? And make the CGI flowers bloom.

[1:26:55] Christi Esterle: There are a lot of good musicals. What would be fun to commentate on?

[1:26:57] Emily Clark: There's at least one or two good musicals, right? We want, like, something more modern or something older.

[1:27:06] Christi Esterle: Like, Moulin Rouge would be a great commentary that I would enjoy watching.

[1:27:09] Emily Clark: I would do a Moulin Rouge commentary. I love that musical.

[1:27:12] Christi Esterle: I could totally talk about Moulin Rouge forever.

[1:27:15] Emily Clark: And Andrew would get to enjoy the craziness that is that movie for the first time.

[1:27:19] Christi Esterle: That's, like, a good crazy musical.

[1:27:21] Emily Clark: Yes.

[1:27:26] Christi Esterle: We've already done it for our patrons.

[1:27:32] Emily Clark: Meow!

[1:27:33] Christi Esterle: Are they doing their meow? Is he coming on to her?

[1:27:37] Emily Clark: We're having a hard time establishing, you know, romantic, you know, nuzzling and platonic nuzzling in this show.

[1:27:44] Christi Esterle: Platonic nuzzling is not romantic.

[1:27:47] Emily Clark: It's a cult. They all are fucking cheerleaders.

[1:27:50] Christi Esterle: I like how they all just, like, what is Macavity's reaction to this?

[1:27:54] Emily Clark: What happened there that caused Deuteronomy to suddenly appear back?

[1:27:57] Christi Esterle: I don't remember if they ever show them getting off this boat.

[1:28:00] Emily Clark: We've got some suggestions on the side.

[1:28:02] Christi Esterle: We have a lot.

[1:28:03] Emily Clark: Look, she's going to undo the zipper.

[1:28:05] Christi Esterle: Oh, gross!

[1:28:06] Emily Clark: Yeah, I mean, this is the thing. It's like, you know, she does it once, and it's like, okay, maybe it's just part of the song. But no, this is an actual thing that this cat can do is, like, you know, strip off her fur and have spangly fur underneath.

[1:28:21] Christi Esterle: Tom Hooper was very proud of that gag, and he was very happy it came back to him.

[1:28:24] Emily Clark: He was proud of the crazy cat lady joke.

[1:28:26] Christi Esterle: Yes.

[1:28:27] Emily Clark: Oh my God. There's a hair.

[1:28:29] Christi Esterle: Oh, and the hairball joke. Fun.

[1:28:31] Emily Clark: Oh, but he can tap dance fight.

[1:28:33] Christi Esterle: Don't they, like, murder Growltiger here? Like, actually murder him?

[1:28:37] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:28:38] Christi Esterle: Okay, yeah, let's murder Growltiger.

[1:28:40] Emily Clark: But they never show them...

[1:28:42] Christi Esterle: This is so weird. The colors are, like, wrong in this scene.

[1:28:47] Emily Clark: Like, the shading of them is not fitting with the lighting.

[1:28:52] Christi Esterle: Well, I guess it's better than in the musical where Growltiger gets killed by, like, terrible Siamese stereotypes.

[1:28:58] Emily Clark: This looks awful.

[1:28:59] Christi Esterle: This looks awful. This is, like, the worst shot.

[1:29:01] Emily Clark: Oh my God.

[1:29:02] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:29:03] Emily Clark: Oh, that looks terrible.

[1:29:05] Christi Esterle: It's okay. We're back in normality.

[1:29:07] Emily Clark: We're back on the same street corner.

[1:29:09] Christi Esterle: We're good, guys.

[1:29:10] Emily Clark: Do they ever get off that boat?

[1:29:12] Christi Esterle: Uh, they must.

[1:29:14] Emily Clark: Do we ever see them again?

[1:29:16] Christi Esterle: I don't think so.

[1:29:17] Emily Clark: I was just wondering, do they show back up with the group at the end?

[1:29:20] Christi Esterle: You know what? I don't think they do.

[1:29:21] Emily Clark: I don't think they do.

[1:29:23] Christi Esterle: Here we go.

[1:29:24] Emily Clark: Hey, you guys. Here's the jam.

[1:29:26] Christi Esterle: Guys, this is what we paid $20 for.

[1:29:29] Emily Clark: I could have just looked up this song, but I watched this whole film for it for some reason.

[1:29:37] Christi Esterle: All that I wanted was to do ballet, but now I'm in this film.

[1:29:47] Emily Clark: She's got a beveled foot the whole movie.

[1:29:49] Christi Esterle: The whole movie.

[1:29:50] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:29:52] Christi Esterle: A beveled foot is the name of my rock band.

[1:29:55] Emily Clark: That's a good name for a rock band.

[1:29:57] Christi Esterle: Your 90s grunge band.

[1:30:00] Emily Clark: All right, Jeff. You and I, we're in this band together, right?

[1:30:05] Christi Esterle: You are.

[1:30:06] Emily Clark: He's getting me another beer.

[1:30:08] Christi Esterle: Okay, I'm told.

[1:30:09] Emily Clark: Okay, people are saying that they do show back in the show at the end of the song.

[1:30:13] Christi Esterle: Okay.

[1:30:14] Emily Clark: Oh, great, great, great.

[1:30:15] Christi Esterle: Okay.

[1:30:16] Emily Clark: All right.

[1:30:17] Christi Esterle: It's like the Sinardies at the end of the Les Mis movie.

[1:30:18] Emily Clark: We're supposed to assume they're there in that giant mass of humans?

[1:30:21] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:30:23] Emily Clark: Yeah, they're there.

[1:30:25] Christi Esterle: Oh, Jesus Christ Superstar Live. Les Mis.

[1:30:27] Emily Clark: Let's do one that isn't three hours long.

[1:30:31] Christi Esterle: Love Never Dies.

[1:30:32] Emily Clark: The phantom movie.

[1:30:34] Christi Esterle: Those are all like two and a half hours long.

[1:30:36] Emily Clark: Do we have to do garbage?

[1:30:37] Christi Esterle: The apple would be good.

[1:30:38] Emily Clark: That would be fun.

[1:30:39] Christi Esterle: What would be?

[1:30:40] Emily Clark: The apple.

[1:30:42] Christi Esterle: The apple would be fun, I guess. And that would not work for our show, so it would be good to use here.

[1:30:47] Emily Clark: Why do you hate me?

[1:30:49] Christi Esterle: Why does everyone hate me?

[1:30:50] Emily Clark: No, the apple is fun.

[1:30:52] Christi Esterle: Here she comes.

[1:30:53] Emily Clark: I wouldn't mind doing commentary on Love Never Dies, because that's short.

[1:30:56] Christi Esterle: Like, that is surprisingly short for a show.

[1:30:58] Emily Clark: Ooh, that show.

[1:30:59] Christi Esterle: Ooh, that show.

[1:31:01] Emily Clark: Yeah, I don't think I can even hate watch that anymore.

[1:31:05] Christi Esterle: Oh, that show's great. I actually am a defender of that show, so.

[1:31:09] Emily Clark: Yeah, well, everybody has their flaws.

[1:31:11] Christi Esterle: Yes, we do.

[1:31:15] Emily Clark: Uh-oh.

[1:31:17] Christi Esterle: Get it, Grizz.

[1:31:19] Emily Clark: Here we go, guys.

[1:31:20] Christi Esterle: Oscar, Oscar moment.

[1:31:22] Emily Clark: Yeah, Oscar moment.

[1:31:23] Christi Esterle: Here we go.

[1:31:27] Emily Clark: Just sing the same song, but do it louder.

[1:31:31] Christi Esterle: But this is, like, three times less than they sing it in the musical.

[1:31:35] Emily Clark: While Die Hard Alan is saying what we're all thinking.

[1:31:39] Christi Esterle: Jesus!

[1:31:43] Emily Clark: Yes, I was thinking of Alan Cummings.

[1:31:45] Christi Esterle: That says, uh, that says alien, Jess.

[1:31:47] Emily Clark: Oh, Die Hard Alan.

[1:31:50] Christi Esterle: I'm starting to understand that I might be dyslexic the more I'm thinking about it.

[1:31:54] Emily Clark: That still wouldn't even explain what you said, but okay.

[1:31:58] Christi Esterle: When you were getting beer, Jess said that you guys would be starting a 90s band.

[1:32:06] Emily Clark: This is our press release right here.

[1:32:08] Christi Esterle: We're starting a 90s band called Beveled Foot.

[1:32:12] Emily Clark: A beveled foot.

[1:32:13] Christi Esterle: All right, let's just sing the same chorus over and over, but get louder each time you do it.

[1:32:22] Emily Clark: Just keep getting louder.

[1:32:27] Christi Esterle: Is this song any good, is the next question.

[1:32:30] Emily Clark: It's fine.

[1:32:31] Christi Esterle: Yeah, I think it's one of the best songs in the show because it's not putting a poem to music.

[1:32:36] Emily Clark: And it's got that Angeloid Webber, it's that, like, one Angeloid Webber jam in every show that could be a pop hit.

[1:32:45] Christi Esterle: It works.

[1:32:46] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:32:47] Christi Esterle: It's a good standard Belt to the Rafters power ballad.

[1:32:52] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:32:56] Christi Esterle: And again, it, like, draws a little bit from T.S. Eliot.

[1:33:00] Emily Clark: I'm pretty sure there's, like, little allusions to Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock somewhere in there.

[1:33:05] Christi Esterle: But it actually, you know, does, you know, makes its own thing with it.

[1:33:12] Emily Clark: I just wish they had given her, like, a wide sweeping shot or some movement or something that matches the underscoring.

[1:33:21] Christi Esterle: I've seen bootlegs better shot than this.

[1:33:24] Emily Clark: I mean, I think this is the only song that doesn't make me want to fall asleep.

[1:33:27] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:33:28] Emily Clark: Hey, hey, hey.

[1:33:29] Christi Esterle: I must, wait.

[1:33:32] Emily Clark: Those.

[1:33:34] Christi Esterle: I must think of a new life.

[1:33:37] Emily Clark: I love that.

[1:33:38] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:33:39] Emily Clark: And I mustn't give in.

[1:33:44] Christi Esterle: This is like.

[1:33:45] Emily Clark: I love this.

[1:33:49] Christi Esterle: I like her line readings.

[1:33:51] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:33:52] Christi Esterle: What were you saying, Andrew?

[1:33:53] Emily Clark: This is like the emotional climax, but there's no connection to anything else in the show.

[1:33:58] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:33:59] Emily Clark: Chrisabella has a fabulous manicure.

[1:34:01] Christi Esterle: Let's give her that.

[1:34:03] Emily Clark: Oh, look, everyone's so moved.

[1:34:05] Christi Esterle: And it's a beautiful song, but it's like, what does any of this mean?

[1:34:08] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:34:09] Christi Esterle: Hold on. We're about to get Victoria singing very beautifully equally.

[1:34:13] Emily Clark: It's good.

[1:34:16] Christi Esterle: They pair up to Jennifer Hudson, which, you know, is just unfair.

[1:34:28] Emily Clark: Here she goes.

[1:34:31] Christi Esterle: All right, here we go.

[1:34:32] Emily Clark: All right, everyone. Everyone starts.

[1:34:34] Christi Esterle: Let's go.

[1:34:39] Emily Clark: Touch.

[1:34:42] Christi Esterle: Touch me.

[1:34:53] Emily Clark: No, I'm on, but.

[1:35:24] Christi Esterle: We have a lost brethren now.

[1:35:54] Jess McAnally: What if the successful song from the show was in memory and was Skimbleshanks and Barbara Streisand just sang a bunch of covers of that and took it down?

[1:36:39] Christi Esterle: Get in the balloon.

[1:36:51] Jess McAnally: I feel happy.

[1:36:55] Emily Clark: All right, Christi, that's the question for you.

[1:36:57] Christi Esterle: What?

[1:36:59] Emily Clark: It's on the screen.

[1:37:00] Christi Esterle: Okay, question for me. I'm not looking.

[1:37:02] Emily Clark: Is it too much to ask for a musical hell for cats?

[1:37:06] Christi Esterle: Um, I will only say that it is going to happen someday. I have plans.

[1:37:15] Jess McAnally: Noice!

[1:37:16] Christi Esterle: This is obviously very special material and requires special treatment.

[1:37:24] Emily Clark: I feel like you could make a review of this that's longer than the show.

[1:37:29] Christi Esterle: Frame by frame.

[1:37:36] Jess McAnally: I have a rule that you shouldn't make a review longer than the movie itself.

[1:37:42] Christi Esterle: That's a bad rule. I disagree with that rule wholeheartedly.

[1:37:46] Jess McAnally: If the review is longer than the movie, the review is usually more fun to watch.

[1:37:52] Christi Esterle: This makes me happy.

[1:37:55] Emily Clark: Hope your wife is okay.

[1:37:56] Christi Esterle: Or fiancé.

[1:37:57] Jess McAnally: Same thing.

[1:38:06] Christi Esterle: So what do you think cat school would be like?

[1:38:08] Emily Clark: Because they all had to go to cat school.

[1:38:10] Christi Esterle: I was going to ask the same thing.

[1:38:11] Emily Clark: There was obviously a lot of nuzzling involved.

[1:38:15] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:38:16] Emily Clark: Is this how you nuzzle?

[1:38:17] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:38:21] Jess McAnally: We had to talk about how we drink out of bowls.

[1:38:28] Christi Esterle: Oh man, I want to go to cat school.

[1:38:32] Emily Clark: They wanted me to go to cat school and I was like, meow!

[1:38:41] Christi Esterle: All right.

[1:38:43] Jess McAnally: You think she's like, I don't know what's happening, but that's cool.

[1:38:46] Christi Esterle: I'm in a chandelier.

[1:38:48] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:38:48] Christi Esterle: Yeah, she's very passive about it.

[1:38:50] Emily Clark: She's just like, oh.

[1:38:51] Christi Esterle: Okay, this is happening.

[1:38:53] Emily Clark: This is happening.

[1:38:54] Christi Esterle: I just want like an after credit sequence where it's like a week later and it's just bones.

[1:39:02] Jess McAnally: There's a chandelier floating in the sky and they're dead.

[1:39:05] Christi Esterle: Bop, bop, bop, bop!

[1:39:07] Jess McAnally: To the heavyside lair!

[1:39:10] Christi Esterle: What do you think is up in the heavyside lair?

[1:39:12] Jess McAnally: There isn't a heavyside lair, Jess.

[1:39:14] Christi Esterle: It's a cult.

[1:39:16] Jess McAnally: They're just floating people into the sky.

[1:39:21] Christi Esterle: And we had to bring the cavity back here.

[1:39:24] Jess McAnally: He's magic!

[1:39:25] Christi Esterle: Just teleport!

[1:39:27] Jess McAnally: Just teleport into it!

[1:39:29] Christi Esterle: So I always thought they were being reincarnated.

[1:39:31] Jess McAnally: So the next nine lives, right?

[1:39:34] Christi Esterle: Yeah, you get one of your next nine lives or something.

[1:39:36] Jess McAnally: So they're just going to be reincarnated and be a cat again.

[1:39:39] Christi Esterle: Why can't he teleport into the balloon?

[1:39:43] Jess McAnally: He's out of magic, guys!

[1:39:44] Christi Esterle: He's out of magic!

[1:39:45] Jess McAnally: He's out of magic?

[1:39:49] Christi Esterle: Yeah, how did he run out of magic?

[1:39:50] Jess McAnally: I don't know.

[1:39:51] Christi Esterle: Maybe it's like a night time thing.

[1:39:54] Jess McAnally: I mean, the sun is rising now.

[1:39:56] Christi Esterle: Okay, yeah, here are all the cats back.

[1:39:59] Jess McAnally: Oh, there they are, yes.

[1:40:00] Christi Esterle: All right.

[1:40:02] Emily Clark: And we're nuzzling.

[1:40:03] Christi Esterle: Oh, gross.

[1:40:06] Emily Clark: Is Judi Dench about to talk directly to me?

[1:40:08] Christi Esterle: Because I saw I'm not comfortable with any of this.

[1:40:10] Emily Clark: Yes, Judi Dench is about to talk to you.

[1:40:12] Christi Esterle: Judi Dench is about to explain what this whole movie was about, apparently.

[1:40:17] Jess McAnally: A cat is not a dog!

[1:40:20] Christi Esterle: Look at the people behind her.

[1:40:22] Jess McAnally: That's great.

[1:40:23] Christi Esterle: I didn't know that.

[1:40:24] Jess McAnally: Oh, she's about to tell us.

[1:40:26] Christi Esterle: But here's a better question.

[1:40:28] Jess McAnally: Are you guys even cats?

[1:40:31] Christi Esterle: You look like humans.

[1:40:33] Jess McAnally: They're not.

[1:40:34] Christi Esterle: Oh, the felinity.

[1:40:38] Jess McAnally: How'd they get off the boat?

[1:40:41] Christi Esterle: Magic, oh, I missed him.

[1:40:42] Jess McAnally: Moe did, it was, they were rescued by Moe.

[1:40:46] Christi Esterle: Poochie from Itchy and Scratchy, he showed up, and then he had to go back to his own planet.

[1:40:52] Jess McAnally: How did I get to go to the Flair Expectory?

[1:40:54] Christi Esterle: That's what we need, a sign that said, Grizabella died on the way back to the Heaviside Flair.

[1:40:59] Jess McAnally: Oh, here she goes.

[1:41:01] Christi Esterle: Oh, Judi.

[1:41:03] Jess McAnally: Oh, she thought she was in a movie.

[1:41:04] Christi Esterle: She was trying so hard.

[1:41:08] Jess McAnally: Robbie Flair's child over her shoulder.

[1:41:11] Christi Esterle: Yeah, he is way too invested in this last song.

[1:41:14] Jess McAnally: It's insane to watch him during this whole thing.

[1:41:18] Christi Esterle: Yeah, he is like, you know, really getting into it.

[1:41:22] Jess McAnally: I mean, I can't believe he-

[1:41:23] Christi Esterle: That's not how you look at people.

[1:41:25] Jess McAnally: You don't look at people like that.

[1:41:25] Christi Esterle: You look at his lips and everything.

[1:41:27] Jess McAnally: Yeah, I mean, it's like, yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:41:30] Christi Esterle: Tell me more about this.

[1:41:31] Jess McAnally: Tell me, yeah, baby, yeah, baby.

[1:41:33] Christi Esterle: And now I need a very long shower.

[1:41:36] Jess McAnally: It's weird, because we have our four main leads right here in frame.

[1:41:39] Christi Esterle: Look at him.

[1:41:44] Jess McAnally: He's like, oh, oh, like, is he blinking?

[1:41:48] Christi Esterle: Is he blinking?

[1:41:50] Jess McAnally: He's not.

[1:41:52] Christi Esterle: Oh, he kind of went.

[1:41:56] Jess McAnally: I would love to talk to Robbie Fairchild about his experience.

[1:42:05] Christi Esterle: Man, they could have just ended the whole thing right there, but they were like, nope, we got a little more.

[1:42:09] Jess McAnally: Yep.

[1:42:11] Christi Esterle: The denouement, Andrew.

[1:42:12] Jess McAnally: You need to have falling action.

[1:42:15] Christi Esterle: Wrap up all the important plot threads.

[1:42:18] Jess McAnally: Yeah, right.

[1:42:20] Christi Esterle: Hey.

[1:42:22] Jess McAnally: What does a gel cold cat mean?

[1:42:24] Christi Esterle: That does get answered here.

[1:42:25] Jess McAnally: That was the first question.

[1:42:33] Christi Esterle: Can we leave now?

[1:42:38] Jess McAnally: No, we got five more hours, guys.

[1:42:40] Christi Esterle: I can't believe how long this goes on.

[1:42:43] Jess McAnally: It just goes on.

[1:42:45] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:42:46] Jess McAnally: There's a wedding ring.

[1:42:47] Christi Esterle: In this, so.

[1:42:48] Jess McAnally: Yeah.

[1:42:53] Christi Esterle: Oh, my God.

[1:42:53] Jess McAnally: There are no outtakes for the scene.

[1:42:54] Christi Esterle: They used every piece of it.

[1:42:56] Jess McAnally: Yeah.

[1:42:59] Christi Esterle: Look at him.

[1:43:00] Jess McAnally: The other three cats have nothing to do.

[1:43:03] Christi Esterle: Yeah, they're just like, yeah.

[1:43:10] Jess McAnally: Why isn't she walking amongst them and having a moment with all of them?

[1:43:14] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:43:15] Jess McAnally: Oh, yeah, he's really into this part.

[1:43:20] Christi Esterle: Do you think they even know what she's saying, or are they just kind of reacting?

[1:43:23] Jess McAnally: The director told me to react.

[1:43:24] Christi Esterle: I think she's talking about food here.

[1:43:26] Jess McAnally: I seem to remember them getting.

[1:43:27] Christi Esterle: She's talking about food there, and I think that's the thing.

[1:43:37] Jess McAnally: And we're doing this like, and we're shooting this like it's the end of Les Mis here.

[1:43:45] Christi Esterle: Oh.

[1:43:49] Jess McAnally: Let me out.

[1:43:50] Christi Esterle: Oh, my God.

[1:43:51] Jess McAnally: Let me out.

[1:43:54] Christi Esterle: I want off the hot air balloon.

[1:43:56] Jess McAnally: I don't want to go in the sky.

[1:43:59] Christi Esterle: I thought I wanted this, but I don't.

[1:44:05] Jess McAnally: Cats!

[1:44:08] Christi Esterle: Yep, all right.

[1:44:09] Jess McAnally: And are we done?

[1:44:11] Christi Esterle: No, then she's like, I don't.

[1:44:12] Jess McAnally: Yeah, and they were like, okay.

[1:44:14] Christi Esterle: I guess we're done.

[1:44:16] Jess McAnally: I do believe you are.

[1:44:17] Christi Esterle: Angelical.

[1:44:19] Jess McAnally: Goodbye, my new boyfriend.

[1:44:22] Christi Esterle: We're boyfriend-girlfriend now.

[1:44:24] Jess McAnally: For some reason.

[1:44:26] Christi Esterle: For a reason.

[1:44:26] Jess McAnally: Where does that go?

[1:44:28] Christi Esterle: It's in his hand.

[1:44:29] Jess McAnally: Oh, here she goes.

[1:44:30] Christi Esterle: I do believe.

[1:44:34] Jess McAnally: What does that mean?

[1:44:36] Christi Esterle: What does that mean again?

[1:44:37] Jess McAnally: His name is McTrizzlebump.

[1:44:39] Christi Esterle: Vizzlebump.

[1:44:40] Jess McAnally: Yes.

[1:44:41] Christi Esterle: McTrizzlebump, McGrizzlebump.

[1:44:44] Jess McAnally: Your name is Grizzlebump.

[1:44:46] Christi Esterle: All the Angelical cats' names are silly.

[1:44:50] Jess McAnally: Victoria, that's far too normal.

[1:44:52] Christi Esterle: Far too normal.

[1:44:54] Jess McAnally: She's like, gee, all that I wanted was to be wanted.

[1:44:59] Christi Esterle: Yep.

[1:45:00] Jess McAnally: I said that.

[1:45:01] Christi Esterle: There she goes, guys.

[1:45:03] Jess McAnally: Bye.

[1:45:04] Christi Esterle: Goodbye, Grisabella.

[1:45:08] Jess McAnally: Balloon pops and drops down.

[1:45:10] Christi Esterle: No.

[1:45:12] Jess McAnally: I don't know.

[1:45:13] Christi Esterle: I feel like this is a really good movie.

[1:45:15] Jess McAnally: Underrated, in fact.

[1:45:17] Christi Esterle: It's a good bad movie.

[1:45:20] Jess McAnally: Thomas Hoopy Hooper.

[1:45:23] Christi Esterle: Yep, there we go.

[1:45:24] Jess McAnally: Little shop, little shop of Hoopers.

[1:45:27] Christi Esterle: Little shop, little shop of terror.

[1:45:31] Jess McAnally: Oh, man, I wish we were watching that.

[1:45:32] Christi Esterle: It's going to sound like that.

[1:45:33] Jess McAnally: It does sound like that.

[1:45:36] Christi Esterle: Okay, everyone.

[1:45:37] Jess McAnally: Didn't he do, like, Hamilton or something?

[1:45:40] Christi Esterle: Who did?

[1:45:41] Jess McAnally: Andy Blanken.

[1:45:42] Christi Esterle: Yeah, he did the choreography for Hamilton, too.

[1:45:44] Jess McAnally: Yeah, he did.

[1:45:46] Christi Esterle: Well, you can see it in all those little things.

[1:45:49] Jess McAnally: Yeah.

[1:45:49] Christi Esterle: Well, the guy who's doing choreography for In the Heights also did Disney's Zombies, so I guess, you know, you take the jobs that come to you.

[1:45:56] Jess McAnally: Disney's Zombies.

[1:46:00] Christi Esterle: All right, all right, folks.

[1:46:01] Jess McAnally: What is your overall thoughts on Cats 2019 and your cheese rating?

[1:46:06] Christi Esterle: It's so bad!

[1:46:09] Jess McAnally: Andrew doesn't like it.

[1:46:11] Christi Esterle: Christy, did you love it?

[1:46:13] Christi Esterle: It is. I think this is, like, a true so bad it's good experience. It's obviously an awful, awful movie, but it is a lot of fun to watch, and it almost, like, loops around to Wonderful again. So it's, like, I'm not sure what the cheese rating would be. It's probably, like, Velveeta. It's, like, it is not good in any way, but...

[1:46:39] Jess McAnally: It's like my Tostitos queso I was just eating.

[1:46:41] Christi Esterle: Yeah, it's not actually what you could call good, but people like eating it anyway.

[1:46:49] Jess McAnally: All right, all right.

[1:46:50] Emily Clark: It's awful, but I like watching it with friends, and I love showing it to new people. I showed it to Jeff the other night, and it blew his mind. I'm gonna probably show it to my roommates during this quarantine, and they have nowhere to run, and every time so far people have loved it. It's a hoot! You just have a great time. It's such a blast, but let's not act like this is good or anything.

[1:47:19] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:47:19] Jess McAnally: But I also am not a big fan of the source material, so...

[1:47:23] Christi Esterle: Okay, Andrew, you're the final one. What's your overall thoughts and cheese rating?

[1:47:27] Andrew: I don't even think I can give this so bad it's good. It's too boring to be so bad it's good. Everything in this makes me want to fall asleep. I mean, it's just about as bad as the show, it's just more awkward to look at.

[1:47:43] Christi Esterle: So that's all I got.

[1:47:47] Jess McAnally: I mean, that's fair enough.

[1:47:49] Christi Esterle: All right, guys, this was fun. So the folks that donated, you should have emails to join us right now if you want to have a quick chat with us before we wrap this all on up. So come join us. I know, Lily, you're a part of it, as well as Hayden, I believe.

[1:48:06] Jess McAnally: Oh, yeah, Hayden.

[1:48:07] Christi Esterle: So come click the link. It should work. We want that with you. Let's hang out.

[1:48:11] Jess McAnally: Yes, let's hang.

[1:48:12] Christi Esterle: Let's be girlfriends, guys.

[1:48:14] Jess McAnally: Let's be girlfriends.

[1:48:16] Christi Esterle: But remember, we've got only so much time, despite the fact we're in a quarantine. We still have lives.

[1:48:20] Emily Clark: I know Emily's got another show she's doing tonight.

[1:48:24] Christi Esterle: I know!

[1:48:25] Emily Clark: We've got maybe 10 minutes.

[1:48:27] Christi Esterle: We've got a couple minutes.

[1:48:28] Christi Esterle: Yeah, you got another live thing going? I do at 4:30. Okay, I'm gonna be singing.

[1:48:34] Emily Clark: I don't know what I'm gonna do. No, I do. I do. Oh, give us a little sneak preview. What you're gonna sing?

[1:48:38] Christi Esterle: I have like a list. I'm just gonna kind of wing it with a bunch of karaoke tracks. But I am gonna do "Getting Married Today" all by myself.

[1:48:48] Emily Clark: So are you gonna be doing like the backgrounds like "Blast This Day"?

[1:48:52] Christi Esterle: I'll do Soprano Girl Paul and Amy for sure. And then I think I might do like "You Got Trouble" and maybe some "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips and shit like that.

[1:49:05] Emily Clark: Is that your automatic pull-out song is like "You Got Trouble"?

[1:49:09] Christi Esterle: No, no, no. Well, when it comes to karaoke, it's usually like "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips or "Cabaret" or something like that.

[1:49:16] Emily Clark: Yeah, yeah. But "You Got Trouble," you know, my high school production, the music man that I was going to direct is probably not happening. So it's like might as well put this shit to good use.

[1:49:23] Christi Esterle: Either you're closing your eyes to a situation.

[1:49:29] Emily Clark: I know every line of that.

[1:49:34] Christi Esterle: So do I. I love it. I love it. Better than Cats.

[1:49:39] Emily Clark: Yeah, yeah. Well, "You Got Trouble." Why don't we do a commentary on The Music Man next time?

[1:49:43] Christi Esterle: Oh, I would love to. I could do that.

[1:49:47] Emily Clark: We could do the bad Matthew Broderick one.

[1:49:47] Christi Esterle: We've already done that. We can't do that. The patrons already have that.

[1:49:53] Emily Clark: Do the good Robert Preston, Shirley Jones, little Howard, little Ronnie Howard singing.

[1:49:53] Christi Esterle: Hermione Gingold.

[1:50:00] Emily Clark: Oh, God.

[1:50:00] Christi Esterle: Per Kelton as Marion's mother. Uh huh. I love that show.

[1:50:06] Emily Clark: No, no one saw that reference in our upcoming episode.

[1:50:11] Christi Esterle: Once more with dragons.

[1:50:11] Emily Clark: Yeah.

[1:50:11] Christi Esterle: Gary and Deanna.

[1:50:11] Emily Clark: Hi, Lily. Hi, Lily. Can you hear us?

[1:50:25] Lily: Hi. Hello.

[1:50:25] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:50:25] Emily Clark: Thank you for donating and always following us and being so kind and watching with us this entire horrible experience.

[1:50:33] Lily: I'm glad I watched it with other people because I think I would turn it off.

[1:50:40] Christi Esterle: Was it your first time?

[1:50:44] Lily: Yeah, it was.

[1:50:44] Christi Esterle: Yeah, you can only watch it with people. You shouldn't watch it alone.

[1:50:47] Emily Clark: Endured with friends. Best endured with friends.

[1:50:53] Christi Esterle: Yes. Absolutely.

[1:50:53] Lily: I would say it was like watching the Incredible Hulk from 2008. Like, I can't watch it.

[1:51:02] Emily Clark: Oh, my God. I didn't think it was that bad.

[1:51:08] Christi Esterle: Is that the Edward Norton one or the Ang Lee one?

[1:51:08] Lily: Yeah, it's the Edward Norton one. At least the Ang Lee one is so bad, it's good.

[1:51:15] Emily Clark: I did see that one. That one was silly.

[1:51:20] Christi Esterle: So, Lily, ask us whatever you want. Like, what do you want to talk about?

[1:51:25] Lily: I honestly don't know. After all that.

[1:51:30] Christi Esterle: I'm just tired.

[1:51:33] Lily: Not much to say.

[1:51:33] Emily Clark: You just gotta absorb it all.

[1:51:38] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Really, where do you go from Cats? Lily, I guess it's our time to ask you, finally. What is your overall thoughts on your cheese rating?

[1:51:42] Lily: Yes. I think Christi got it right with the Velveeta, but I say it was the generic brand.

[1:51:49] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah. Generic cheese product.

[1:51:53] Lily: From a can?

[1:51:57] Christi Esterle: Yeah. Yeah. You can't even technically call it cheese, so they put extra E's and Z's in there.

[1:52:01] Lily: I work at a grocery store, and our store brand is Nice and Cheesy.

[1:52:08] Christi Esterle: Nice and Cheesy. Ooh, Nice and Cheesy.

[1:52:10] Emily Clark: How are you doing with that?

[1:52:12] Lily: Yeah.

[1:52:12] Christi Esterle: Because I know grocery store people are pretty overwhelmed right now. You still going to work and everything?

[1:52:15] Lily: I'm tired.

[1:52:19] Christi Esterle: I'll bet you are. Oh, God.

[1:52:20] Lily: But I gotta tell you, I really appreciate that. I don't think you're hearing that enough. I mean, we still need to get food and eat and everything. And it's not your fault that everybody's out of toilet paper and having to stockpile stuff. So thank you so much.

[1:52:37] Christi Esterle: Our hats are all off to you, Lily, and all the work that you and everyone like you do. So we really do appreciate that.

[1:52:41] Lily: Well, actually, we're actually not too bad right now. But I hope it's not bad on Wednesday, because I work on my birthday then.

[1:52:57] Christi Esterle: Sorry to hear that.

[1:53:00] Emily Clark: All right. Happy birthday, Early.

[1:53:03] Christi Esterle: Yeah, happy early birthday.

[1:53:03] Emily Clark: Happy early birthday, Lily.

[1:53:07] Christi Esterle: We're going to also bring in Hayden, who is another donator. So hi, Hayden.

[1:53:11] Hayden: Hi, Hayden. I'm waving and nobody can see me.

[1:53:18] Christi Esterle: I can hear you. I can feel the reverberations.

[1:53:21] Emily Clark: Can you hear us okay?

[1:53:21] Hayden: Yep. Yep. I can hear you great.

[1:53:26] Christi Esterle: Did you have fun? Your comments were cracking me up.

[1:53:30] Hayden: Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't see a lot of the comments.

[1:53:34] Christi Esterle: You highlighted a good amount of them. Jeff is going to walk the dog now.

[1:53:38] Hayden: I'd like to say goodbye. Bye, honey.

[1:53:41] Christi Esterle: Say thanks to Jeff for us one more time for basically moderating the comments and keeping them alive.

[1:53:43] Hayden: Yes, thank you, Jeff.

[1:53:49] Christi Esterle: Jeff, they're thanking you for basically moderating the comments.

[1:53:52] Hayden: He's good at that. Jeff is great.

[1:53:57] Christi Esterle: Hayden, what was your overall thoughts on your cheese rating?

[1:54:03] Hayden: So as I mentioned, this is my seventh time seeing the movie.

[1:54:06] Christi Esterle: Yeah, how you did that, or why you did that.

[1:54:06] Hayden: Because none of those times was I sober.

[1:54:12] Christi Esterle: Oh, so you made my mistake. You watched this sober.

[1:54:15] Hayden: Oh, yeah.

[1:54:17] Christi Esterle: Actually. Never make it happen.

[1:54:17] Hayden: The first time I saw it, actually, I was in the same audience as Emily.

[1:54:22] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:54:28] Hayden: And so that was fun.

[1:54:28] Christi Esterle: Um, my cheese rating is, um, I don't even know.

[1:54:36] Hayden: I can't. It doesn't deserve a cheese.

[1:54:38] Christi Esterle: It's the thing. Cheese is too good.

[1:54:42] Hayden: Yeah, cheese is too delicious for this. It's the spray can cheese.

[1:54:46] Christi Esterle: Maybe it's some of the cheese.

[1:54:50] Hayden: That's a good one, Lily. Spray can cheese.

[1:54:53] Christi Esterle: Some of the cheese that they were eating out of the garbage.

[1:54:53] Hayden: Yeah, so I actually went from hating Cats to, like, becoming a cat stan because that's what this past year has done to me as a human. It's just destroyed me, so I don't even know what I am.

[1:55:11] Christi Esterle: I'm a liar.

[1:55:14] Hayden: You're in too deep, man.

[1:55:18] Christi Esterle: Seventeen-year-old me is very disappointed.

[1:55:21] Hayden: That's kind of how I feel. I feel like it's been the same roller coaster for me, where I hated Cats when it was just a musical because everyone fucking loved it. Now that it's like the cool thing to hate Cats, I'm like, you know what? That movie's fun.

[1:55:32] Christi Esterle: Right now, this was my first time ever, like, watching anything Cats fully, and I just didn't care.

[1:55:40] Hayden: That's how I felt for a very long time. Like, because, you know, why do I care that these cats all have things they can do? They have three names.

[1:55:49] Christi Esterle: My theater teacher was like, oh, I love Cats, and I just...

[1:55:52] Hayden: I had a theater teacher like that, and I was absolutely smarter than him.

[1:55:57] Christi Esterle: But he was, like, a full-on idiot, so it's okay. It was well known.

[1:56:03] Hayden: Oh, this is also the teacher that made us do Children of Eden my last year, and nobody knew what it is.

[1:56:07] Christi Esterle: Why would you make a high school do Children of Eden?

[1:56:20] Hayden: Literally, that silence was what the drama meeting was like. Everybody was like, what?

[1:56:29] Christi Esterle: Well, my senior year, our director chose Evita.

[1:56:35] Hayden: I mean, why would you do that with a high school? I mean, it's like one major part, and...

[1:56:39] Christi Esterle: 100%. 100%. And it was at an arts high school, so the Evita went crazy because Kylie LuPone talks about how Evita made her go crazy. Our Che was Taron Killam, and Taron Killam lost his voice the week of the show because high schoolers shouldn't do Evita.

[1:56:56] Hayden: Right.

[1:56:56] Christi Esterle: And it was a nightmare, but, like, who was I going to be? Her zany friend?

[1:57:02] Hayden: So, like, my senior show was me going, "Votes for Women!" That was my big part.

[1:57:06] Christi Esterle: I wasn't even in the show.

[1:57:08] Hayden: Yeah, it's like, got Evita and the girl who sings "Another Suitcase in Another Hall."

[1:57:13] Christi Esterle: And the mistress. That's it.

[1:57:13] Hayden: Yeah, the mistress.

[1:57:14] Christi Esterle: Yep. And then my friend, Ryan Oliver, was Taron, and he was fine.

[1:57:18] Hayden: What about a gender flip to Evita?

[1:57:22] Christi Esterle: That still doesn't work, no.

[1:57:23] Hayden: It's a historical joke.

[1:57:25] Christi Esterle: I would love to play Che.

[1:57:27] Hayden: Sing you a full house when you got it wrong.

[1:57:32] Christi Esterle: I would do it like Mandy, though.

[1:57:37] Hayden: I wasn't even in the musical. That was the first musical I was a part of, and I got front of house tech for that.

[1:57:40] Christi Esterle: I went to a French high school, so we didn't even, like, do, like, an actual, um, like, full-on, like, Broadway musical. We did a show in French, which was actually really fun.

[1:57:50] Hayden: Oh, okay.

[1:57:51] Christi Esterle: That sounds cool, though.

[1:57:52] Hayden: Yeah.

[1:57:52] Christi Esterle: We did, let's see, my senior year, we did Guys and Dolls. I was, um, General Cartwright.

[1:57:58] Hayden: Perfect, perfect high school show.

[1:57:59] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:58:00] Hayden: Perfect.

[1:58:00] Christi Esterle: It's like, yeah, it's got big cast, you know, big chorus, um, lots of good character parts.

[1:58:05] Hayden: And you can only do it a year when you have a bunch of good boys. That's awesome.

[1:58:08] Christi Esterle: Yeah, which is very hard, because, you know, practically all the, um, drama clubs I've been in are girl-oriented.

[1:58:13] Hayden: Yep, you can turn the Arvide into a girl, and that's about it.

[1:58:17] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:58:19] Hayden: I've seen that a lot.

[1:58:21] Christi Esterle: My school did Guys and Dolls my junior year.

[1:58:27] Hayden: Yeah.

[1:58:30] Christi Esterle: And then it was, before that, it was Little Shop.

[1:58:35] Hayden: That's a great high school show, too.

[1:58:36] Christi Esterle: I didn't want to be in Tech, but I didn't get in Tech, so.

[1:58:43] Hayden: It was fun to watch, though.

[1:58:45] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:58:46] Hayden: I did, I did both Guys and Dolls and Little Shop in middle school.

[1:58:52] Christi Esterle: My middle school doesn't, didn't do drama, because it's a small town in Kentucky, so.

[1:59:02] Hayden: Um, my high school did Little Shop and, um, Into the Woods and The Wiz.

[1:59:08] Christi Esterle: Those are my big three.

[1:59:09] Hayden: Those are big high school shows.

[1:59:11] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[1:59:12] Hayden: Those are good ones.

[1:59:13] Christi Esterle: I was The Wiz, I was Rapunzel's Prince, and I was The Dentist.

[1:59:17] Hayden: Oh, fun!

[1:59:18] Christi Esterle: I think it was all three amazing parts.

[1:59:21] Hayden: There were a lot of parts.

[1:59:22] Christi Esterle: Fantastic parts, because you get to sing "Agony."

[1:59:24] Hayden: Agony!

[1:59:25] Christi Esterle: And that's the best part.

[1:59:27] Hayden: They did Little Women my freshman year.

[1:59:30] Christi Esterle: Oh, that's a good show.

[1:59:30] Hayden: That's an underrated show.

[1:59:32] Christi Esterle: That's a good one if you have a bunch of good girls, too.

[1:59:35] Hayden: Yeah.

[1:59:35] Christi Esterle: Um, I did a, I went to a place that did, like, a musical theater, like, youth musical theater at the same time, and during high school, the three shows I did were Spelling Bee, where I was Chip, Cabaret, where I was Ernst Ludwig, and finally, yeah, finally, Into the Woods, I was the baker.

[1:59:55] Hayden: And we did the whole version, which I was happy about, not the junior version.

[2:00:00] Christi Esterle: Oh, yeah.

[2:00:01] Hayden: I'm sure I did the junior version.

[2:00:01] Christi Esterle: Yeah, the junior version had Ernst on the first act.

[2:00:04] Hayden: Yeah.

[2:00:05] Christi Esterle: It's good for middle school, though.

[2:00:08] Hayden: Junior versions are a godsend.

[2:00:10] Christi Esterle: All right, guys.

[2:00:10] Hayden: I was doing Seussical Junior.

[2:00:12] Christi Esterle: That would have gone up this week, but I don't think it's going to happen, I'm so sad.

[2:00:17] Hayden: This, my high school was doing Seussical this year, but it got canceled.

[2:00:24] Christi Esterle: It's so sad, it's such a bummer.

[2:00:26] Hayden: All these poor kids, I feel so bad for them.

[2:00:28] Christi Esterle: Yeah.

[2:00:28] Hayden: Yeah, it's really hard to have this happen to your senior year, but, you know, what are you going to do about it?

[2:00:34] Christi Esterle: I like that.

[2:00:35] Hayden: That's the worst part, is that it's non-negotiable, and it's not like you can go somewhere else and do a show somewhere else, because none of the shows are happening.

[2:00:42] Christi Esterle: Right.

[2:00:42] Hayden: So it's just like, the last day of school, I didn't even know how long we'd be gone, so I was like, okay, we're on hold, bye, and I might not even see those kids again.

[2:00:51] Christi Esterle: I mean, some of them, again.

[2:00:52] Hayden: They're going to go to high school next year, it's so sad.

[2:00:55] Christi Esterle: That's Casey, thanks, Casey.

[2:00:59] Hayden: I like what Laura Benanti has been doing, and like, looking at several digital issues.

[2:01:04] Christi Esterle: Me too, yeah, letting kids show off their stuff.

[2:01:06] Hayden: Yeah.

[2:01:07] Christi Esterle: Sunshine songs.

[2:01:08] Hayden: It really sucks for them to be like this.

[2:01:12] Christi Esterle: All right, guys.

[2:01:14] Emily Clark: All right, guys.

[2:01:14] Christi Esterle: I know Emily's got to run, and we all got to wrap up.

[2:01:18] Emily Clark: So we're going to call this a night, but we love you all so much, and my friends, Andrew, Christi, Emily, we're so glad you guys are joining us, everybody.

[2:01:27] Christi Esterle: Thank you so much for making me watch Cats again.

[2:01:31] Emily Clark: Take care of yourselves.

[2:01:32] Christi Esterle: Stay healthy, stay safe, stay sane.

[2:01:37] Emily Clark: Yeah, virtual hugs around the world.

[2:01:40] Christi Esterle: Wash your hands.

[2:01:44] Emily Clark: Wash your damn hands, kids.

[2:01:54] Christi Esterle: All right, guys.

[2:01:55] Emily Clark: We're ending this.

[2:01:55] Christi Esterle: We love you all so much.

[2:01:56] Emily Clark: We'll see you next time.

[2:01:57] Christi Esterle: Bye.

[2:01:58] Emily Clark: Bye.

[2:01:59] Christi Esterle: Bye.