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Episode I: The Mysterious Case of Split Valley Episode 1 Presented by Columbia Public Radio

“What do you think it is? Some kind of symbol?” Adam Kleinhoffer, journalist and podcaster for Columbia Public Radio, receives a mysterious postcard beckoning him to Split Valley, the second-smallest town in New York State. · Paul Guyet as Soothing Male Voice... Read More

From the show: Split Valley

12 mins
6/29/21

About

“What do you think it is? Some kind of symbol?”

Adam Kleinhoffer, journalist and podcaster for Columbia Public Radio, receives a mysterious postcard beckoning him to Split Valley, the second-smallest town in New York State.

· Paul Guyet as Soothing Male Voice

· Amir Darvish as Gus Finch

· Matthew Cohn as Adam Kleinhoffer

· Keilly McQuail as Melanie Lavin

· Inés del Castillo as News Anchor

· James Weber as Red

· Written by Caroline V. McGraw

· Directed by Eddie Prunoske

· Sound designed and engineered by James Hansen

· Original music by Luke Santy

· Cover art by Matthew Cohn

· Produced by Five on a Match: Matthew Cohn, Amir Darvish, and Meg MacCary

Transcript

This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] ♪ Musical number: "The Mysterious Case of Split Valley" — performed by Ravens ♪

[0:23] Adam Kleinhoffer: Hello.

[0:25] Gus Finch: Hello there.

[0:31] Gus Finch: Yep, right here.

[0:33] Gus Finch: This is steep.

[0:35] Melanie Lavin: Ah, you're my age. You can do it.

[0:37] Gus Finch: Still steep.

[0:39] Gus Finch: Ah, I guess I'm used to it. I grew up around here, you know.

[0:50] Adam Kleinhoffer: This is it? Here?

[0:52] Gus Finch: This is it.

[0:54] Gus Finch: I haven't touched him.

[0:57] Adam Kleinhoffer: Can you, uh, tell me what I'm looking at here?

[1:00] Gus Finch: You can, um... You can see it.

[1:05] Gus Finch: Right?

[1:06] Gus Finch: I'd just rather have you, uh, say it. It'll be better for the...

[1:11] Gus Finch: We'll edit it.

[1:12] Adam Kleinhoffer: Oh, who's we? Her?

[1:14] Gus Finch: No, we have a producer, Tim. He was supposed to come with us, but he got food poisoning, so he's back in New York.

[1:19] Gus Finch: And if you could just say your name, I'll put that earlier.

[1:22] Gus Finch: Ah, yeah.

[1:25] Gus Finch: Ready?

[1:27] Gus Finch: I'm Gus Finch. I'm the mayor of Split Valley, New York. Have been for almost five years. Won re-election last year in a landslide.

[1:34] Gus Finch: Split Valley, New York. Population 58.

[1:37] Gus Finch: Well, there's another census coming up soon, but yes.

[1:39] Gus Finch: We are the second smallest town in New York State.

[1:42] Gus Finch: Green Island is the smallest.

[1:44] Adam Kleinhoffer: And Split Valley is 47 square miles?

[1:46] Gus Finch: It is.

[1:48] Adam Kleinhoffer: Can you say it as a complete sentence, please, so I...

[1:50] Gus Finch: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Okay.

[1:52] Gus Finch: Split Valley is 47 square miles.

[1:56] Gus Finch: Mostly forest.

[2:00] Gus Finch: It's mostly forest land of the...

[2:03] Gus Finch: We'll edit it.

[2:05] Gus Finch: It's mostly forest land of a coniferous nature.

[2:08] Adam Kleinhoffer: And what portion of that is commercial logging?

[2:13] Gus Finch: Yeah, I grew up about 35 miles down the road, as they say in Bolton Landing, right on the Hudson. Woke up every morning with it right outside my window.

[2:20] Gus Finch: I love the Adirondacks. You know, I could have really gone anywhere after Penn. But I decided I wanted to move back. Give back to this region. Best place on Earth. Best people on Earth.

[2:41] Gus Finch: So, here's where I found this particular pile about four months ago. It was a rainy summer, and it's, well, now you can feel it. Snow in the air now. About to be November. It's still here.

[3:00] Gus Finch: Looks like a... Maybe a little statue of some sort.

[3:02] Gus Finch: Well, not a statue. What is it?

[3:07] Gus Finch: A sculpture, suppose.

[3:09] Adam Kleinhoffer: Wow.

[3:11] Gus Finch: Yeah.

[3:13] Adam Kleinhoffer: Don't you want to take a picture of it?

[3:15] Gus Finch: Sure, sure. Hold on. My hands are full.

[3:18] Gus Finch: Melanie?

[3:27] Gus Finch: Melanie, make sure those photos go to the cloud.

[3:31] Melanie Lavin: Yes, if the shared folder is the cloud, I think that's...

[3:34] Melanie Lavin: I just want to make sure I can find them again.

[3:38] Gus Finch: These are... Remarkable. Something in there called a diva cup.

[3:44] Gus Finch: According to Sandy.

[3:46] Gus Finch: Sandy's my fiancé. Yeah, I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing what a diva cup is, right?

[3:57] Adam Kleinhoffer: Oh, you know, huh?

[4:03] Gus Finch: What do you think it is? Some sort of signal?

[4:07] Adam Kleinhoffer: We have mail cubbies at Columbia Public Radio, and my favorite part of the day is seeing mine filled to the brim.

[4:30] Adam Kleinhoffer: Most of it I throw away. It's catalogs, junk mail, discount flyers for products I already own. But often I will glimpse loopy handwriting, a stamp fixed crookedly on an envelope.

[4:41] Adam Kleinhoffer: The four East Cleveland men arrested in their teens have been exonerated after five years in prison for a wrongful murder conviction. Interest in the case built after the podcast Nowhere to Run picked up the murder of Tabitha McGill, who was found dead the day after her 16th birthday.

[4:55] Adam Kleinhoffer: I first reported on the mishandling of evidence and lack of police oversight, drawing attention to a seemingly open and shut case. Nowhere to Run, our podcast about four young men jailed for a crime they didn't commit, hit a chord I never could have guessed.

[5:12] Adam Kleinhoffer: Almost two years later, I still get letters and cards from listeners. That's the thing about a show like ours. It happens in the moment, then lives forever.

[5:21] Adam Kleinhoffer: So when I saw the plain white postcard with its smeared writing, I thought it might be another word of thanks from someone who just discovered us. But no.

[5:31] Adam Kleinhoffer: Dear Adam, we are here. Come find us. No signature. Just the postmark. Split Valley, New York.

[5:43] Adam Kleinhoffer: Huh. Where had I heard of Split Valley, New York before? It sounded familiar, the kind of place Manhattanites escape to on the weekend, an Amtrak away.

[5:55] Adam Kleinhoffer: It's on the edge of the Adirondack Park and isn't known for much. Its small population seems to be its only defining feature. Then I remembered.

[6:04] Adam Kleinhoffer: I read the New York Times front to back every day. And in October, there was a regional story about Split Valley's contract with Two Trees Paper, one of the largest pulpers on the eastern seaboard.

[6:16] Adam Kleinhoffer: But when I Google, nothing much else comes up. No Yelp reviews of the local diner. No cabins for rent on Airbnb. Still, it's only a four-hour drive. And that postcard. A town with so few people. Someone at the post office, the only post office for a 45-mile radius, might know who'd sent me the card.

[6:41] Adam Kleinhoffer: So, my assistant Melanie and I hit the road. She drives. I call the mayor's office. We're ready.

[6:48] Gus Finch: Take seven.

[6:51] Gus Finch: I'm Gus Finch. I'm the mayor of Split Valley, New York. Have been for almost five years. Won re-election last year in a landslide.

[6:58] Adam Kleinhoffer: Turns out there is a local diner. Biscuits on Route 9N, tucked far back into the trees. It's the only restaurant within the Split Valley area that's open to the public.

[7:08] Adam Kleinhoffer: And it's the only place that's open to the public. Biscuits on Route 9N, tucked far back into the trees. It's the only restaurant within the Split Valley town limits. Its tables are covered in red checkered plastic cloth. And it serves breakfast. No matter what time of day. Breakfast.

[7:25] Adam Kleinhoffer: Hey, Red. You have any idea who might have written this?

[7:29] Gus Finch: Red's lived here his whole life. Yeah, owned this place since '92. Yeah, right, Red?

[7:34] Red: You know, Finchie, I don't take living here my whole life to be a point of pride. I was just giving our guests some local points of reference.

[7:44] Adam Kleinhoffer: Do you have any idea what this postcard might be in reference to?

[7:49] Red: Let's see here. Well, now, you're looking for what? Ghost stories? Some lore about Split Valley? Injun spirits?

[8:01] Gus Finch: He means native peoples.

[8:03] Red: I'm native peoples.

[8:06] Gus Finch: I'm just looking for whoever wrote that card.

[8:10] Red: I wonder if it has anything to do with those piles of trash up near Fort's Woods. I've seen them when I was hunting. Filled with all the stuff, you know, my girls used to have. Ladies' things.

[8:21] Red: Pipe down! You fellas having omelets, huh? You want chives? Omelet's at its best when it's got chives.

[8:35] Adam Kleinhoffer: Hello?

[8:37] Adam Kleinhoffer: Hello?

[8:44] Adam Kleinhoffer: Hello?

[9:07] Adam Kleinhoffer: Hello?

[9:26] Adam Kleinhoffer: It's 1:30 in the morning. I was just woken up by a knock on my door. I just received another postcard. This time it was at my motel room door. Same handwriting. No postmark. This one says,

[9:48] Adam Kleinhoffer: Dear Adam, I'm glad you're here. It's time for you to see where I live. It's time for you to see where I live.

[10:32] Adam Kleinhoffer: This is Melanie Lavin, production assistant and researcher for Adam Kleinhoffer. It's 9 o'clock in the morning in Split Valley, New York. I'm in the parking lot of the Icarus Motel and Lodge on Old Mill Road. I am the only guest. I don't have a car.

[11:14] Melanie Lavin: Adam Kleinhoffer is... gone?

[11:19] Melanie Lavin: Yeah, the car is gone and so is he.

[11:29] Narrator: Episode 1 of Split Valley features Paul Guyette as Soothing Male Voice, Matthew Cohn as Adam, Keilly McQuail as Melanie, Amir Darvish as Finch, Inés del Castillo as News Anchor, and James Weber as Red. Written by Caroline V. McGraw. Sound Design by James Hansen. Directed by Eddie Prunoske. Music composed by Luke Santy. Produced by Five on a Match.

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