This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Robert W. Schneider: Are you trying to musicalize me, Mrs. Robinson? Oh yes, Benjamin Braddock, they are trying to musicalize you and Mrs. Robinson and Elaine, all of you. They're gonna keep singing until every critic in New York is banging on a church window begging you to stop. And who is giving you these songs to sing, Mrs. Robinson? Simon and Garfunkel? Nope, not at all. Sharing a xylophone? Yes, a xylophone was the man who wrote Funny Girl and the man who wrote Bat Out of Hell, collaborating. Well, what happened was, well, we'll tell you in this week's episode of Broadway Bound, the musicals that never got to Broadway, which explores The Graduate, The Musical.

[0:50] Robert W. Schneider: Hey friends, Rob Schneider here, and welcome to Broadway Bound, the musicals that never came to Broadway, the podcast. This week we are looking at a musical that never even left the demo stages, but was passed around to three different artists, each unable to get a firm grasp on why one of the most iconic films of the 1960s should be turned into a musical. And each of them were being encouraged by a producer so colorful, so exuberant, and so deluded that you'd think she was producing The Second Coming, although I'm pretty sure Jordan Roth has that one locked up and it's gonna be fabulous. Today, it is oh so common for Broadway to be populated by musicals that were inspired by movies, but that wasn't always the case.

In fact, most musicals in the 1980s were inspired by great books or great historical events. We think of Big River as a great book turned into a great musical, or Into the Light as a great historical event turned into… you know what, I'm gonna stop right there. Into the Light, friends, if you don't know it, YouTube it, a musical about the Shroud of Turin. They came as believers, they left as atheists. That was the pull quote. I wish the grand hotel lady had seen that. Did you ever see her? I loved it. The robes, the shrouds, the faces. I'm going to see it two more times as soon as I can get tickets. My husband worships in the area. Okay, today is not about Into the Light. It's about a movie that defined a generation, and that movie is The Graduate.

[2:10] Unknown Speaker: Hey, there's the award-winning scholar!

[2:13] Unknown Speaker: We're all very proud of you, Ben.

[2:14] Unknown Speaker: How are you, track star?

[2:16] Unknown Speaker: What are you going to do now?

[2:17] Unknown Speaker: I was going to go upstairs for a minute.

[2:20] Unknown Speaker: I meant with your future.

[2:21] Unknown Speaker: Your life.

[2:22] Unknown Speaker: Well, that's a little hard to say.

[2:31] Unknown Speaker: Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me.

[2:36] Unknown Speaker: Aren't you?

[2:36] Unknown Speaker: Have you gotten us a room yet?

[2:38] Unknown Speaker: I haven't, no.

[2:39] Unknown Speaker: Do you want to?

[2:40] Unknown Speaker: I'll get undressed now, is that all right?

[2:42] Unknown Speaker: Sure. Shall I… I mean, shall I just stand here?

[2:46] Unknown Speaker: I mean, I don't know what you want me to do.

[2:51] Robert W. Schneider: In 1963, a 24-year-old named Charles Webb wrote a novella, a little tiny novel, called The Graduate, or A Novel of Today's Youth Unlike Any You Have Ever Read. That was the full name of it. Webb's novel was about a young man named Benjamin Braddock, who had just graduated college and is questioning his next steps in life, basically knowing that once he commits to grad school or a job or a wife, his life, like many others in his generation, is done. So before he finds the right girl, he has an affair with the much older Mrs. Robinson, the wife of his father's business partner, and then Benjamin falls in love with Elaine, Mrs. Robinson's daughter. Now, Benjamin has a big mouth and he tells Elaine about the affair with her mom, and Elaine, surprise surprise, is not ecstatic.

She goes back to school where Benjamin follows her. In the 1960s, this was called a quote, determined young man, but today we just call it stalking. Elaine tells Benjamin to buzz off because she has a new boyfriend. She says she can't forgive him for taking advantage of her drunk mother, even though Mrs. Robinson actually initiated the affair. Eventually, Elaine realizes that her mom is a cougar and forgives Benjamin, but worries about what it will do to the family if she marries Benjamin. It's kind of awkward when you realize you've slept with your son-in-law. She doesn't need to worry because soon her dad shows up, saying he's divorcing Mrs. Robinson, ending the partnership with Ben's dad, and taking Elaine away from school.

But Benjamin, the determined young man, doesn't let this stop him, and on the day of Elaine's marriage to her new boyfriend, Ben bursts into the church, beats the shit out of Mr. Robinson, and whisks, a fancy term for kidnap, Elaine off to elope, and that is the end of the novel.

[4:27] Robert W. Schneider: Now, the book had a clinical Milton Glaser cover to it and was published by an artsy publishing company, the New American Library. That does sound very artsy, doesn't it? The New York Times published a brief review, calling the novel a fictional failure because of its preposterous climax and the sidestepping of its hero's psychological motivations. Was Benjamin upset by sex? By the state of the world? By despair and the dark nights of the soul? By mental illness? Benjamin didn't know. Mr. Webb doesn't seem to know either. But know mine, Mr. Webb, because it caught the eye of movie producer Lawrence Terman, who wanted to make his name as an artsy producer. And maybe this artsy novel was the way in.

So, Terman knocked on every studio door, each one turning him down, until he got in with Joseph Levine, who was excited by the prospect of Broadway director Mike Nichols helming the movie. And Nichols brought on Buck Henry, an improviser, to write the screenplay. And it's going good so far, right? A man who never wrote a screenplay before and a man who never directed a film before, right? For Mrs. Robinson, they wanted Jean Moreau, Doris Day, Shelley Winters, Rita Hayworth, Ava Gardner, Susan Hayward, Ingrid Bergman. But none were really interested until they got to a woman who was only in her mid-30s. But she was a powerhouse. And her name was Anne Bancroft.

[5:46] Robert W. Schneider: In the novel, they never describe Benjamin. But it is assumed he is a waspy fellow looking like Robert Redford or Charles Grodin. So they went after Robert Redford and Charles Grodin. Grodin was too expensive and Redford didn't possess any underdog qualities. So they went with an unknown stage actor, an actor who went to the unemployment line after the movie was wrapped. A scrappy little guy named Dustin Hoffman. And so this little book about post-graduation malaise hits the big screen in 1967 and it's received with some pretty good reviews and a slew of Oscar nominations. But what Nichols and company created, and would still remember today, were a string of iconic images and moments in which the parts disguise the fact that the whole isn't even really there.

The shot of a nervous Benjamin as photographed under Mrs. Robinson's leg. Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson? The infamous quote. Benjamin yelling at the window at the church. The long, silent bus ride away at the end of the film. The fishbowl aquatic motifs in the cinematography. The smarmy old man telling Benjamin the future was in one word, plastics. And of course, of course, the Simon and Garfunkel score.

[7:24] ♪ Musical number ♪

[7:30] Robert W. Schneider: What The Graduate had discovered was the dark character comedy that had been prevalent in the UK films for quite some time. American comedy, till The Graduate, had been big, broad, burlesque. The Graduate made you laugh at the pain, the uncomfortableness of it all. The characters were real, not cartoons. And Nichols and company kept the tone throughout. And what shocked audiences in 1967 would soon become tamer and tamer in the next 20 years or so. And, you know, instead of Mrs. Robinson seducing Benjamin, the next collection of moviemakers would just absolutely just show the act of two people having sex. The Graduate movie was groundbreaking in its time, but could its story break new ground in musical theater?

Could those who saw themselves in Benjamin 20 years later want to return to the story as Mr. and Mrs. Robinson? Well, one producer thought so, and her name was Gladdy Rackmill. Yes, that's her name. Gladdy Rackmill. But only a year later, she'd have a different name. Gladys Niederlander.

[8:28] Robert W. Schneider: See, Gladdy had an interesting life. She started off working on the TV show Queen for a Day. You want to look that one up, folks. Ran a clothing store in Palm Springs and a local radio show where she interviewed celebrities. And one day she interviewed Milton Rackmill, the president of Deca Records and Universal Pictures. And she was smart. She married him. Then they divorced, and off she went to Washington, D.C. to work at the Kennedy Center, where she produced mostly revivals like that 1980 West Side Story with Debbie Allen. And then she became the executive producer for Niederlander television and film productions. The Sweeney Todd movie that we all love with George Herndon and Angela Lansbury.

That was part of them. And she produced TV one acts for A&E, but she wanted something she could claim as hers, an original idea from the ground up. And as she was dating the boss, Robert Niederlander, who were they to say no? But turning The Graduate into a musical didn't start with Gladys in 1987. No, no, no. It started with Bob Merrill in 1979.

[9:29] Robert W. Schneider: Look at the New York Times, November 23rd, 1979. There is an article in there about Cy Fuhrer and Ernest Martin, the producing team who gave us the movie Cabaret and the stage shows How to Succeed and Guys and Dolls. The article discusses their two new projects. One is called That's Capital, a musical romp about a communist who uses Das Capital to run a business and it'll star Liv Ullman. To quote Bette Midler, I never miss a Liv Ullman musical. I know. Calm down, folks. We can still get tickets. And The Graduate. Now, there are a few things that are very clear in this article. One, the musical will not have Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson, nor, as Mr. Fuhrer insists, should it. Quote, it was just used as underscoring. It didn't contribute to the dramatic action at all. And the other thing he says it's going to be sure about The Graduate is the book, the music, and the lyrics will all be by Bob Merrill.

[10:24] Robert W. Schneider: How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the waggly tail? Bob Merrill is probably one of the most intriguing songwriters for musical theater and someone who just never got the credit they deserved for what they created and the boundaries they were willing to push in musical theater. And not just because he played everything on a xylophone. Honestly, he did. If anyone could have made The Graduate work, honestly, it would have been Bob Merrill. He's best known for Funny Girl, but let's talk about his career up to that moment. Besides the fact he was always confused for opera singer Robert Merrill, I know this pain. As a Rob Schneider, I know this pain. He gave the world such songs as How Much Is That Doggy in the Window, Mumbo, Italiano, If I Knew You Were Coming I'd Have Baked a Cake, and then ventured into Broadway with big fat hits like Take Me Along, Carnival, Funny Girl, and doctoring some of the songs in Hello Dolly, Sorry Motherhood March, and Elegance Lovers.

That's Bob Merrill, not Jerry Herman. And in 1964, he and Julie Stein gave us hit after hit with Funny Girl. People, don't rain on my parade, I'm the greatest star. But then, after Funny Girl, it all went downhill for this lyricist. Breakfast at Tiffany's closed in previews. Henry Sweet Henry got panned. Pretty Belle, a musical about a woman who lets men assault her as penance for her husband's crimes, closed out of town. Don't worry, there will be an episode on this one at some point. Sugar, it was panned by critics, but it did run. The Prince of Grand Street, a musical about Yiddish theater starring that great Yiddish actor, Robert Preston, that closed out of town. So Merrill was in need of a hit, something that brought him back to the top, and The Graduate seemed to be the right material. He knew how to write for tough women like Mrs. Robinson. He knew how to break your heart, look at Carnival, or make you laugh, look at Sugar. He wouldn't

[12:12] ⚠ About 12 minutes of audio could not be automatically transcribed.

[24:26] Robert W. Schneider: Very, very nice. Now please forgive me for inferring the advantages involved are all one-sided because you realize that premise would be utterly fallacious to assume. For an affair to be rewarding, the enjoyment must be equally divided. I guess especially when she just paid for the room. You know, I love the way you put things, Mrs. Robinson. You make things crystal clear. You really make things crystal clear. And you agree with what you've heard. I go along with every word. Then just come here. What's wrong? Why did you stop?

[25:47] Catherine DeLuce: My fingers just cramped on me. It started when I was rubbing your neck. Wow. Damn. That's better. Okay now, ready to go back to work.

[26:00] Robert W. Schneider: Back to work? Do you have to make it sound like you're driving a damn bus? I'm sorry.

[26:07] Catherine DeLuce: No, I'm sorry. My fault. I'm a little uptight. Suddenly I have this strange goddamn feeling that I'll end up loathing myself. I'm sorry. Christ, I am sure insecure for a woman who's lived as much life as I've lived. You should have seen this body at 20, this body made strong and weak. Here I am standing and selling myself as an early American antique. Why shouldn't you want someone younger, a brand new and fresh? I'm ashamed of the pressure I've laid on you. But every boy should sometime love an older woman. It is a love a young girl can't approximate.

[27:28] Robert W. Schneider: Now are you really sure? I'm really sure. You're really ready? Really ready. Look, you think don't chicken out now. I get going right about now. The orchestra surges as they start tearing their clothes off. Okay, folks, hold on to your hats. The event the world has been waiting for. Because of the nature of the following program. Parental discretion is advised. Passengers will kindly buckle their seatbelts. And refrain from smoking. Okay, kid, let's see how many times 20 goes into 40. And while the movie did a montage to show us how Mrs. Robinson and Ben are feeling as time passes, Bob Merrill gives us a song which, if the show got to Broadway, would have been the song most associated with people like Barry Manilow and Neil Sedaka. Listen to this song, which I can literally hear it being played on Love Songs from the Coast with Delilah.

[28:33] ♪ Musical number: "Summer's Sweetest Surprises" — performed by Bob Merrill ♪

[32:05] Robert W. Schneider: And even though Glady is firm in the idea that The Graduate is really Mrs. Robinson's story, they gave her a kind of weak 11 o'clock number, one in which she's comforting her husband, Mr. Robinson. The news has him weeping uncontrollably in her arms. She's forced to mother him, soothe his wounded ego. We get the feeling she would have respected him more if, instead of tears, she'd gotten a belt in the mouth. Nevertheless, she soothes.

[32:39] Catherine DeLuce: Poor baby, poor baby to think that your own baby has been in somebody's bed. Poor image, all battered, self-esteem just shot and shattered. Ooh, how I've screwed up your head. You take the house, baby. I'll gladly sign the papers and we'll work out together all the details, legal hangnails, what we say to friends and neighbors. That rubbish, good riddance. I'll ask no more than a pittance. I've given you such abuse. I don't know what makes me tick, but my ticks are a little sick. And when I get uptight, I get loose. I should think it would make you feel better being free from a liar, a cheat. I'm the woman who never deserved you. There are women who'd just kiss your feet. Of course, you screw around some yourself, dear, but you're known to the world as a champ.

Hey, if that makes you a hero, why does that make me a tramp? Some ladies, when nervous, find church work or public service an easer of tension, garden planning, knitting, canning, and, of course, adult extension. But that's not my bit. Shit, I can't knit. So when I get uptight, I get loose.

[36:10] Marius: Well, Mrs. Robinson, thanks for your suggestion. I'd be very wise to follow it. But hell, Mrs. Robinson, it isn't going down. It's just impossible to swallow it. Who are you? Who are cynical and shrewd? Could never know how to want somebody just so goddamn bad you can't subtract them. That's Mrs. Robinson.

[36:39] Robert W. Schneider: But you can really turn it on when you decide to turn it on, you know, Mrs. Robinson. I'm slowly getting mad again because I'm being had again. And as I review your attitude, I am more and more convinced. You're being screwed, Mrs. Robinson. I'm not subdued, Mrs. Robinson. I'm not being screwed, Mrs. Robinson. Not again. Elaine, oh my Elaine. You will marry no one else, no one else but me, Elaine. Will you take Ben Braddock to be your lawful wedded husband in sickness and in health till death do you part? And to you, Ben Braddock, as you journey through this life, take Mrs. Robinson to be your wife. Oh God, what a slip, what a Freudian slip. Oh God, what a slip of the leg. You know, Mrs. Robinson, the powerful and rich think that they can kick the world around.

No, Mrs. Robinson, this time you will find that you can't kick around this little people 'cause you are gonna be defied. I'm not gonna be denied. And I hope you know that in this battle God is on my side, Mrs. Robinson. That I know, Mrs. Robinson. And so, Mrs. Robinson, at this point, Ben crashes into the church, but too late, Elaine is already married. Ben yells, give the ring back, Elaine. It's too late, Ben. I said give the ring back. Look folks, I know this is unusual as far as weddings go. I mean for someone to ask a woman to leave her husband quite this soon after the ceremony. But would it be better for her to realize her mistake after 5, 10, even 20 years of living a half-dead, bored, stiff, frustrated existence like half the damn world, right Mrs. Robinson?

Now I can well understand you not wanting me in the family, but if closeness counts for anything, we have an extraordinary chance of being a tight family unit. After all, you could have a son-in-law for 100 years and never get to know him as well as you know me. Get over to the door, Elaine.

[39:01] Robert W. Schneider: Elaine follows his orders. Mrs. Robinson crumbles into her husband's arms. Mr. Robinson yells, look what you've done to her, you goddamn lunatic. She's collapsed from grief. Rub her neck, Mr. Robinson. That'll bring her around. The curtain falls on Ben and Elaine rushing out of the church. It's what we see today, you know, turn the movie into the stage version but don't show why the story needed music. Give us something different, spice it up a bit. It's interesting to note that in the 87-88 season, which is where they wanted this musical to fall, we had one book movie radically different, and that was Carrie. But something seemed amiss somewhere in the world, and it couldn't have been the score.

Milton Green, who was hired as the music director, he said, it's the first time Bob's done a whole show by himself, and it turned out very well. It's not one of those scores where you can't come out singing. The songs are wonderful. The only thing about the show that worries me is whether people will react to the story the way they did when the movie first came out. Our morals have gone downhill. Audiences may be blasé about it. I know it's a good book, that it's well-written, but I don't know how people will respond to it.

[40:23] Robert W. Schneider: Okay, so we know the material is good, but what about the director? Who would handle this material well? Edgy, sardonic, with a heart. Hal Prince? No, he's busy doing Rosa. Tommy Tune, Arthur Lawrence, all the big ones are dead. Fosse, Bennett, Champion. So they went with a guy named Dan Sereta. Yes, I know what you're thinking. How could a show led by Dan Sereta not come to Broadway? Didn't he... No, wasn't he the one who did... Who was Dan Sereta? Well, Dan was a chorus boy who had made a name for himself choreographing those Goodspeed musicals that were coming into New York ad nauseum in the 1970s. Do you remember when they kept reviving every Princess musical like Natalie Needs a 90 and She's Not My Butcher?

Well, Dan was doing those, so of course he was a logical choice to direct and choreograph this show. These were the kind of decisions being made by the team, but hey, I wasn't there, I can only Monday morning quarterback. I learned that term from Wonderful Town. Maybe if they got a strong Mrs. Robinson, it would be smooth sailing.

[41:22] Robert W. Schneider: Now, according to Milton Green, rehearsals for The Graduate were set to begin by October, but there was a disagreement over who to cast as Mrs. Robinson. And finally, they revealed who they got for the coveted role of Mrs. Robinson, the one that they knew Cher and Julie Andrews were just gonna kill each other over. Play a song, soft and low. Sing me a story as gently you go. Yes, Shirley Jones, mom from the Partridge Family. Milton Green, who was hired as the music director, he said, yes, Shirley Jones, mom from the Partridge Family. The musical comedy star was being turned down by this illustrious team of producers and directors because she made commercials for Ralph's Grocery Store. Now, as they waited, they will have to raise more money to get them to the moment when Queen Elizabeth was available to take on the role.

I mean, how can you say no to Shirley Jones? Maybe Florence Henderson? I don't know. What actress not only wants to walk in Anne Bancroft's shoes but also dance in them? But honestly, it seemed like something else was going on. The hunch was it wasn't about an inexperienced director or novice producer or a Ralph salesperson. The feeling was that Bob Merrill, in his late 60s, might not be capturing the angst of the contemporary teenager.

[43:01] Robert W. Schneider: Which leads me to go, when are they setting this show? How can it not be the mid-60s? All the themes are not 80s themes. But I digress because now they've raised the red flags about Bob Merrill and his finger on the pulse of Generation X. But they don't want to get rid of Bob Merrill. No, that would not work, plus the buyout wouldn't be pretty. So, Glady meets with Bob Merrill and tells him they want to bring in a youth consultant, someone who's more up-to-date and to be in the room with Bob. Now, Bob Merrill, ever the dramaturge, doesn't see anything wrong with this idea. Hell, why not make it more accurate? And he welcomes this person with open arms. Who is this person?

[43:41] Robert W. Schneider: Oh, yes, indeed, they bring in Jim Steinman, the man behind Total Eclipse of the Heart. I'd do anything for love, bad for good, paradise by the dashboard light, to be the youth consultant. Well, at least that's what they tell Bob. What they tell Jim, who is a great songwriter for drama, is that they want him to collaborate on writing the songs for the musical with Bob Merrill, and he thinks Bob knows this. So one day, Jim goes knocking on Bob's door, and Bob ushers him into the room with the xylophone. And Bob says, what does a youth consultant do? And Jim says, I don't know, because I'm 39, but I'm excited to write songs with you. Yes, Gladdy, Gladdy, she lied. She said he was going to just be a youth consultant, but no, he was going to be writing the score to The Graduate with Bob Merrill. And Jim did not know that Bob wasn't on Ballward. Bob didn't know what was going on, and Gladdy just seemed so happy. She just seemed so happy. Good for you, Gladdy.

[44:44] Robert W. Schneider: So Bob Merrill and Jim, they decide to give this a try. Now remember the opening number, the showy, jaunty quartet of Ben's Relatives. It still has most of Merrill's lyrics, but here is the new Jim Steinman composition.

[45:13] ♪ Musical number: "Here's to You, Jim" — performed by Jim Steinman ♪

[48:01] Robert W. Schneider: Do you remember Summer in Love? That Barry Manilow easy tune for Mrs. Robinson and Ben? Now it's gonna be a hit for Meatloaf. Summer is full of the sweetest surprises, and what if there should ever be a storm? Love will keep you warm. Love will keep you warm.

[48:52] ♪ Musical number ♪

[50:29] Matt Koplik: At this point, Bob has been working on this show for ten years—ten long years. This was going to be his one-man opus, but now it's clear the show is trying to have its cake and eat it too. So he calls Gladys and says, "I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that," and Bob Merrill walks off the show, and so does Milton Greene, and so does Dan Serrata. But not Gladys, damn it! She is going to continue on with The Graduate, but this time she will be upfront, and she tells Jim Steinman they need someone who's done tons of theatrical shows, unlike Dan Serrata, and someone who can really tap into the raw hip rock vibes that they're going for. And they turn to the perfect candidate: Martin Charnin.

Yes, who better to guide this show about middle-aged affairs and teenage angst than the man who directed Annie, Mr. Martin Charnin? Maybe even his wife, Shelly Birch, can be in it somewhere. Good old Marty! For all his eccentricities, like wearing button-downs with sweatpants and firing kids, it ain't gonna be me, Annie! No more turning point—watch it, it's on YouTube! He's gonna land this plane. March 18th, 1988, the New York Times—hope springs eternal! And why not? The Graduate, budgeted at three million dollars and now being worked on by Martin Charnin and Jim Steinman, is coming in at the end of the year. Mr. Charnin will direct and is co-writing the book and lyrics with Mr. Steinman, who is also writing the music.

He's the composer responsible for such songs as "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "Making Love Out of Nothing at All." It's a truly contemporary score, bridging the gap between rock and theater music, said Mr. Charnin, emphasizing that this will be heavily musical and not the movie. Gladys Niederlander, who is Gladys Rackmill, co-produced several shows in the last decade, said in regard to the score, "Timeless! You won't know what year it's set in." And this is why The Graduate went off the rails: no one knew what it was supposed to be as a musical. I think Bob Merrill was intrigued by dark subject matter, and because of the time period he worked in, he really wasn't allowed to explore it all that much.

And when he did, it was either changed so much so it would be palatable to modern audiences, like "Henry, Sweet Henry," which is really about teenage girls trying to get laid, or "Pretty Belle," which had it come out only 25 years later at some off-Broadway theater, would have been hailed as a triumph of dark subject matter. You can talk about Stephen Sondheim as much as you like, but I think we forget that Bob Merrill was also on the front lines trying to push darker shows out into the light. Anyway, I think he saw this material as a satire on middle-class society with bleak humor that Mike Nichols expertly pulled onto the screen and thought, "This is a show." And the question that you always have to ask yourself is, what does adding music to a story give it that the original movie did not?

Great examples of this are "Hairspray," a cartoon that now has a beating heart and social conscience when music is added, or "Billy Elliot," whose characters were bursting off the screen to sing. But what does The Graduate have to sing about? The whole movie is wry, aloof, distant people viewing things behind glass, and only in the last minute of the movie does the glass shatter. How do you get these characters to burst into song for two hours when they can't even burst into living for two seconds? But Merrill, like Mike Nichols and Buck Henry, realized the situation is the emphasis, and that works brilliantly with a camera—a fleeting shot, a well-placed underscore of contemporary music—and that works on film.

Plus, how do you erase the memory of Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft? Bob Merrill said, "You don't. You just put the movie on stage." And I don't think anyone was asking, "Why are we doing this? Why are they singing?" All suffering from Gladys syndrome. Wouldn't it be fun to revisit an old friend? Yes, but our old friend, no matter how great a show, will never erase the memory of my old friend, warts and all. "Hairspray," "Billy Elliot," "A Little Night Music" reintroduced us to our friends and showed them in a new makeover. The Graduate shows us our old friend with a slightly new look, a new haircut, a new dress, and it didn't change their essence, which made it the more painful and discomforting.

I thought I'd enjoy seeing her after all these years, but what is she doing with that haircut? And no matter whose hands the projects went in—from Bob Merrill to Jim Steinman, from Martin to Gladys Niederlander—no one asked, "Why are we doing this?" Just simply, "Wouldn't it be fun?" If fun? Sure. Logical? No. Soon, without anyone really pulling the plug on it, the potential of the show faded away. Martin Charnin went off to fire more kids from Annie too. Gladys went on to produce star-studded plays like "Death and the Maiden" with Glenn Close. Jim Steinman kept being a pop culture icon. Bob Merrill sadly took his own life in the mid-90s. And what none of them realized was that the best idea for a musical was not the novel, but the life of the man who wrote that novel: Charles Webb and his wife, Eve.

Here is their life after he sold the rights to the book, never making a dime off the movie or the musical. Charles and his wife wanted to homeschool their kids, which was illegal, so they took off on a cross-country venture to stay one step ahead of the law. They ran a nudist camp, lived in shacks, took on jobs at K-Mart and fruit stands. They divorced, selling all their wedding gifts back to their guests in support of gay marriage rights. They actually stayed physically together until her death in 2019. She shaved her head and called herself Fred in solidarity with a group called Fred, which was for men with low self-esteem. One of their kids grew up to be a performance artist who ate a copy of The Graduate, to which the parents were ecstatic.

Where the fuck is this musical? And in 2002, The Graduate did come to Broadway, but in the form of a play starring Jason Biggs, Alicia Silverstone, and Kathleen Turner. The critic from The Guardian said it best when they said, putting the show on stage, "What we are left with is a thin story about a morose kid who chucks his chances in life and gets away with it. In the movie, we accepted it because of Hoffman, the Simon and Garfunkel score, and Nichols' glitzy stylishness. Without those magic ingredients, The Graduate simply ends up looking sophomoric." Yet maybe one day someone will crack the musical code for The Graduate. Until then, I give the floor to Bob Merrill and Jim Steinman and a song from The Graduate which best sums up the decade or so they spent working on musicalizing this film. Here's to you, Mrs. Niederlander.

[57:36] ♪ Musical number ♪